Little Things

It's the way lights get a halo when it's raining. It's the ticking noise that old-fashioned clocks make. It's rain boots and umbrellas and the different ways people say "umbrella." It's the crisp snapping noise when you flick open a new trash bag. It's the beautiful sound and the enthralling sight when you pour water over parched soil.

It's warm cookies on a cold November day. It's the soft peaks in whipped cream. It's old pictures and the smell of old books. It's the crinkling noise of Bible pages. It's funny hats and strangely patterned scarves. It's the little girl who hides behind her mommy in the grocery store. It's singing Taylor Swift songs to your lunch. It's streets named "Christmastime Lane," that you know stay named that in the middle of July.

It's the amazing fact that the word "kerfuffle" actually exists. It's giraffe-patterned pillows. It's googly eyes. It's wiggling your toes in a soft carpet. It's ties, handsome ties and funny ties and bow ties. It's knowing that at any given moment, somewhere a mother is holding her baby for the very first time. It's the clicking noise that a keyboard makes when you type with long fingernails. It's taking five minutes to wash your hands because you're blowing bubbles with the soap.

It's the little things in life.

"We are all in the gutter," wrote Oscar Wilde, "but some of us are looking at the stars."

Dear Jesus...I thank You for the little things, for You have made them, just as You made the big things. I know that You have placed us in our particular situations for a reason. Sometimes, we might not be able to see that reason, and we get frustrated -- with ourselves, with the people around us, with life, even with You. Our eyes are fixed on the gutter surrounding us, and we can so easily get caught up in the annoyances that come with it. Oh Lord, draw our eyes to the stars. Show us the little things. Teach us to smile at the things that might seem the most insignificant, for they are precious gifts from You to remind us that You are there. You give us stars. You give us moments. You give us the little things. "I have learned the secret of being content," and it is that "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." And Christ is so good to us; He gives us little joys that would make up so much of life, if only we will notice them. So oh, God! let us notice them! Let us see Your hand and Your great affection for us in the everyday. Give us hearts and eyes open to the wonder and joy of the little things.

One of Those Nights

Last night was one of those nights. Dinner in the dining hall wasn't good. I was homesick. I wanted to curl up in a little ball, put a pillow over my head, and not get up until next month when I can go home. Little, tiny things were annoying me. And for whatever reason, I, Kendall, now seem incapable of tears and have been for about two and a half months.

One of those nights.

And He waited for me. With arms open, waited for me to come and find rest. He waited to hold me close and whisper sweet words of assurance and love to me. He waited to let me find a home near His heart. He waited to bring me to tears, not from petty human frustration, but from amazement at His goodness.

I kept Him waiting. He waited, and waited, and waited.

Oh, I still have so much to learn. It feels as though every time I take a step forward, I take two back. Every time a part of self dies, another part I thought was gone comes back. Every time I think I've got it, I realize I don't.

I am a seriously messed up person. And that's not okay.

But my God is for me. He has won the victory. He has purchased abundant life and victory for me. He has made me new. He has redeemed me and given me a new identity. But that new identity is so foreign that I am ever in the process of learning how to live as His princess. It will take a lifetime, but that's okay.

So let me rephrase. I was a seriously messed up person. But that is not who I am. Because my loving Daddy saw me from heaven, reached down, took hold of me, and made me His. He declared, "It is finished!" And it is! Oh, it is...

"For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will." -Ephesians 1:4-5

When I choose something, I have the option of not selecting something. I could choose one thing over another, choose several things and leave some out, or choose nothing at all. If I have this luxury, how much more does God! He is all-powerful. He could have passed me by. He could have decided to exclude me, or even to not create me.

But that's not what He did. He chose me. He has chosen all of us.

So what will our response be?

If a rich, loving King came to a poor, starving, wretched girl and told her he had decided to adopt her, would she reject His offer of food, shelter, and love? She would be a fool to do so! Rather, she should fall at His feet, weeping, protesting her unworthiness, saying she's not a princess and never could be.

But that is immaterial. The paperwork is signed. She is a princess -- already. Without her doing a thing. The royal room is prepared, a crown is set out for her. All she need do is accept this amazing offer and begin to accept the reality of her new identity. She needs to leave her old life, move into the palace, and begin to learn from her new Daddy what it means to be a princess.

She will often slip back into old habits. Her speech will often lack the dignity of a princess. She will put her elbows on the table. She'll wrinkle her nose and do all the un-princess-like things she's done all her life. And more than likely, she will often be embarrassed to go to her new Father -- she cannot understand why He would care about her life. But slowly, surely, the more time goes by, her behavior will begin to reflect who she is now. She will dress elegantly. She will eat in a refined manner. And she will be unafraid to run to her King, for He is her Father.

That is the reality of who I am. A princess. Sometimes I'm not very good at living up to that (actually, most of the time I'm not). But just because I haven't fully achieved princess-like behavior doesn't mean I'm not still a princess. I am! He chose me! The adoption papers are signed, the process is complete. I'm a princess. He chose me.

He chose you.

How good our Jesus is... He can redeem even one of those nights.

Sacred Studying

I've already told you about never thinking God cared about spiders (if you've forgotten that lovely *sarcasm* story, you can read about it here). And I told you about my realization that God cares about exercise.

But there's something else. Something that, around this time of year, I think we all need to be reminded of.

God cares about school.

Some of us need to be reminded that we are to reflect the glory of God in every part of our life.

"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might." ~Ecclesiastes 9:10a

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." ~Colossians 3:23

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." ~1 Corinthians 10:31

We have been given an incredible opportunity -- an opportunity to learn about this world God has created and the story He is penning within it. For whatever reason, part of that story has you placed in a classroom for several hours out of the day. This is not merely some haphazard freak of nature. This is God's sacred intent for you for this time in your life. So give it back to Him! Let everything you do be done until Him. Ask for His patience, His wisdom, His clarity, and His vision of why you are here and why you are doing what you are doing. For whatever reason, He wants you to be learning what you are learning -- strive to find out why. Strive to see Him in every aspect of your studies. Ask Him to give you a heart of persistence and diligence. Ask Him for a heart of worship, even in this seemingly unrelated area. He is Lord of all of your life!

And some of us...some of us need to remember that this life is not about school.

Now before you go rolling your eyes and waving that off as a problem unique to Kendall, let me tell you how my school idolatry began.

It started with a nightmare. It wasn't a real nightmare, it was more like a daymare... One of those tricks your mind plays on you, one of those scenarios that will probably never come true that are somehow conjured up in your head.

It went something like this.

“Kendall, you cannot progress to nursing courses.”

I stared at my academic advisor in disbelief as she explained that I had failed to pass one of the critical courses for progression to nursing. In addition to this, I had lost my scholarship, since my GPA had dropped below its requirement.

I knew what this meant. I would have to go home. I would not be going back to college the next semester. I would not be becoming a nurse. I had failed.

I fought back the tears and tried to listen as my advisor explained that I could retake the course or switch majors, but I shook my head. Without the scholarship, there was no possible way I could continue. After two years of college, I was going home. I didn’t know what I would do. All the plans, all the dreams I’d ever had were crushed. No little "RN" by my name. I had not achieved my calling. I was useless.

Obviously this hasn't happened. Actually, when I first wrote down this "daymare," I hadn't even graduated from high school yet. But it terrified me. And from that point on, I threw myself into studying, and into a much less healthy and much more dangerous occupation -- worrying. What ifs played through my head before every test for the first two months of college. What if I failed a class? What if I couldn't be a nurse? I had been so sure of my calling, but I began to doubt it -- and I had absolutely no grounds to. I began to make plans for failure -- a plan B -- while I carried the full weight of the success or failure of plan A on my shoulders.

And then I read the following quote.

"God never issued instructions which He was not prepared to enable us to obey." ~Elisabeth Elliot

Guess what, Kendall, God began to whisper to my heart. I don't have a plan B. I never have a plan B. Do you think I would call you to do something, and then not provide a way for you to do it? Even if your life looks completely different from what you've imagined -- that's My plan A.

Jesus isn't going to give me a second-best life. And He isn't going to give you a second-best life.

So to all of my sweet friends slaving over college applications...do your best. Work at it with all your heart. But work at it as unto Christ. Wherever He wants you, He will make a way -- even if it looks impossible. He cares more about this than even you do.

To all my buddies studying for end-of-semester tests, writing long papers and staying up crying tears of stress that I understand only too well: Keep working hard, but never let the calling of school overshadow the importance of the One who called you. And never imagine that this is not a part of your life that Jesus wants under His lordship. When it composes the majority of your day, how could He not want it centered around Him and His will?

You are a full-time student. This is your calling for today. Therefore, do it to the best of your ability, by the grace of God, all for His glory.

It's November...

It's November...

It's starting to get cold and drizzly. The perfect cuddle-up-in-a-blanket-with-hot-chocolate-and-a-good-book weather is upon us. The days are getting shorter, the nights are getting longer. The stars are getting all the brighter.

The hint of snow is in the air for a lucky group of people who live in a place I like to call my "home." It's almost exactly a month until I will be home. It's coming the time when I'll wake up to frost on my window, to a world covered in white. Oh! how excited I am for snow! Until I came to the South, I never realized how much snow contributed to my pre-holiday-season jitters.

It's rolling down to the end of the semester for us school-going folks. As the weather gets more and more frightful, I'm inclined to snuggle up with a cozy cup of coffee...and study? I can think of worse ways to spend my time.

It's November, Friend. November. Has it hit you yet? Has the closeness of Thanksgiving and Christmas started to sneak up behind you and tickle the back of your neck in a tingle of anticipation?

How fast the time goes! This year especially, I feel it whirring by at a crazy, crazy speed. To think I've been on my own at college for almost three months! I feel like so much has happened...and yet nothing, at the same time. So many lasts, so many firsts, so much love pervading it all. It's a quiet life I live... I feel like my life itself is in the month of November. I don't know why. I can't really describe it. The colors are bright and achingly beautiful, even though the skies are dark above. It's cozy and comfortable, but there's something haunting and chilling about it. It's a gentle, hurried, hushed, easy, unpredictable life...with Thanksgiving at the heart of it all. It's the last bit of calm before the rush of a December-sort-of-life begins, ushering the busyness of the season. It's calm. It's beautiful.

And I'm in love. There's something about love that just makes the world a bit rosier... It makes you want to get up in the morning and go do something. It makes you want to laugh, and cry, and love on the people around you.

It's crazy, this little thing called love. It's only what my whole world is centered around... For God is love, my friend. God is love. Radical, radiant, rejoicing, ransoming, reconciling, romancing, resplendent...love.

And that is why I love my quiet world. For in the midst of hustle and bustle, too often I miss the call, "Hush! Be still." But He has given me this beautiful season of quietness. How thankful I am for my November life! He has set apart this time to press into my heart, "You are Mine. Mine. And I love you beyond what you can possibly imagine." I don't know when November will end and the craziness of December will begin. I'm too enthralled with November. There is the tickle of something coming, something exciting, some grand adventure... It could be next month, next year, or next decade, but I will not fret. I will enjoy the tingle in my toes when I think about it, but I will live with both feet planted firmly in November. For that is where I am, where He has placed me, and why would I run from what my all-knowing, all-loving Daddy has planned for me? What care He uses to determine my steps! What gentleness He uses to guide me along the path He has paved with His deep, deep affection for me.

I love November, Friend. I love November. The month of May may have more flowers; June may be warmer; January may have more new beginnings; March may have more promise; and there is a time and place for each month. But I am very, very happy to have been placed in November.

Tell me, Friend: What month is your life in?