Why are you looking for love? Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?
About a week into my first "relationship," I attended a birthday party. The people at this birthday party were dear friends, people who bring out the best in me, people I absolutely love. Two weeks previously, I would have had the time of my life at this party. But I sat around and moped until I felt sick -- all because the all-important him was not there. It was a Saturday. I would see him again on Monday. Yes. A grand total of two days apart. How dreadful.
I think that's pretty ridiculous, sad, immature, and silly... And no, I don't have any qualms about calling myself that. Because that's what I was. I was the definition of teen angst, of the "ridiculous" that Jane Austen so often mocks, and of one of the greatest problems with dating relationships today.
Two individuals, while they are single, can be just that -- individual and single. They know precisely who they are. They have particular friendships, beliefs, activities, etc. And then these two individuals meet, fall in "like," and *POOF!* There goes individual identity. Suddenly they have no idea who they are when the other person isn't with them. (Even worse, there are the scenarios in which somebody never understands who he or she is as an individual, and is constantly looking to another person to give them identity.)
I understand completely why parties -- especially parties with most of the people I know -- would be very depressing if you didn't have your boyfriend or girlfriend with you. I'm not condemning missing someone. I'm condemning a much bigger problem. Obviously, God created us to enjoy each other's company, and it's perfectly natural to feel a little down when we miss out on the company of someone we love. But we cannot get to the point where it is nigh impossible to have fun without that person at our side -- so long as that person is, well, a person.
Psalm 16:11 declares, "You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever." This verse is incredibly clear: God's presence brings about full, complete joy. It's not, "There is fullness of joy as long as I have God and my boyfriend." No. It's just God. Just His presence.
I am fully convinced that if we truly allow God to write our love story, He will not give us that love story until we don't need it anymore. He will not allow us to give our hearts away to someone else until they are completely in His hands. He will not allow us to glorify Him hand-in-hand with a husband or wife until we have learned to glorify Him on our own. Until we have come to a point of being completely willing -- even delighted -- to be single, He will not purposely distract us from pursuing Him more by beginning to write our love story right then and there.
Until we've fallen head over heels in love with Jesus, we should not fall in love with anyone else. Because let's face it -- they won't always be there. They won't be able to satisfy every single desire we have. They will mess up and disappoint us. But Jesus Christ will always be there. He can satisfy our every need. He will never mess up. We cannot love people properly; we cannot have reasonable expectations of someone else, until all of our needs have been met by God.
Because at the end of all things, we should know exactly who we are without our boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife, because they might one day be demanded of us. But we should not know who we are without Jesus Christ. A day without Him should be impossible. Living apart from Him for even a single breath should break our hearts.
Is Jesus enough to satisfy, even if our earthly desires are never met? He says He is. And it all comes down to trusting that He is, and allowing Him to strip away everything until we are completely satisfied by Him and Him alone. Only when our love story with Him is complete can He give us an earthly love story. And I promise, it will be so, so much more beautiful.
