In Your Arms

I'm turning the world off, embracing the silence
Walking away from all the voices that are screaming in my ear
I've been too caught up; I've been so stressed out
And all of the noise replaced the whisper that used to be so clear
So I close every door and put my face back on the floor...
~"In Your Arms," Meredith Andrews

"What do you want to teach me, God? What are you asking of me? What do you want me to hear from You?"

The questions continue as my frustration grows at the lack of communication I seem to be having. Are my prayers getting through? Do dorm room walls somehow block out Jesus?

And then, all of a sudden, the answer slams into me, as subtle as a sledgehammer and as gentle as a landing butterfly.

Be still!

There is nothing that compares to sitting with Jesus for minute upon minute, hour upon hour... But in the middle of so much going on, what about when I don't have time for hours to be still?

But He didn't say, Be still for six hours. He just said, "Be still! Period!"

So I did...

Oh goodness, Jesus loves me. How much He longs to tell me, every day, through everything! How He wants me to run to Him, let Him protect me, understand how He watches over me. How desperately He longs for me to obey Him so that I can experience greater intimacy with Him.

And as I kneel in His throne room...how He longs to rise up from His throne, and rush down to me.

To me!!

I love you, He whispers. Can I show you? Can you see everything in this entire world as part of a love song and a love story I am writing between us? Can you see everything as an opportunity to come closer to Me? Can I pick you up, can I hold you close, can I guide you and lead you and love you?

How He loves...

"Be still," He whispers. "Be still and let Me love you."

That's all He wants to teach me right now. Because nothing else in this world matters. We love because He first loved us...so how can we love without understanding the depth of that glorious love?

Oh, that He would love in and through me!

Jesus Loves Me

Jesus loves me.

Simple fact.

Jesus loves me.

He does not want me to be miserable.

He does not have devious plans to ruin my life.

He does not hate my stuff.

He does not want me to be a dull, boring person cooped up in a bare house my whole life.

He doesn't want me to never have fun.

He loves me.

And He knows. He knows the plans He has for me. He doesn't have a vague inkling. He doesn't randomly switch His ideas about my future on every odd-numbered Tuesday. He knows.

Goodness knows I don't... I'm glad Someone does!

When I feel like I don't fit in... When I wonder to myself, "What in the world am I doing here?"... When I want to turn and run the other way, a gentle whisper embraces my heart and says, "I love you, and I know."

I still don't

But He does. And He loves me.

And when I hang back, he turns His head to look at me. He smiles, holds out His hand, and without a word, His eyes say, "Will you follow?"

When I say, "I can't," He says, "I can."

When I say, "It's too hard," He says, "My burden is light."

When I say, "It's too dangerous," He says, "You will walk through fire and not be burned."

Through fire!...and not be burned!

Jesus loves me.

Jesus loves you.

The least I can do is love Him back.

Followers

Hi all,

For some reason unbeknownst to me, you are no longer able to "follow" my blog (I am not sure if this holds true for people who are already following). I added something on the right side of the page (over there --->) so that you can subscribe by email to be notified of new posts.

I appreciate each and every one of you! Blessings on your week, and I'll update/post again once I'm settled into college. =)

Many blessings,
Kendall

"What are you afraid of? Let God act. Abandon yourself to Him. You will suffer, but you will suffer with love, peace, and consolation. You will fight, but you can carry off the victory, and God Himself, after having fought with you, will crown you with His own hand. You will weep, but your tears will be sweet, and God Himself will come with satisfaction to dry them. You will not be free any longer to give yourself up to your tyrannic passions, but you will sacrifice your liberty freely, and you will enter into a new liberty unknown to the world, in which you will do nothing except for love."
~Francois Fenelon

Surrendering Spiders

Let me tell you a little story about me. Me and spiders.

Me and spiders don't get along very well. Not only do I have a fear of them, but I have a fear of killing them. This proves quite problematic.

Therefore, last night, when I marched into the bathroom and discovered a spider half the size of my hand (I have small hands, so that's not really an exaggeration), there was only one thing to do: Run away.

So I ran to my brother and begged him to come kill it (scaring him half to death in the process, poor guy). And of course, what do spiders do when you take your eyes off them for two seconds? They disappear. Vanish into thin air, unable to be seen by the valiant spider-killers who have left their comfortable beds to come save you.

Armed with a towel my brother promised would defend me against the spider's spiderly wiles, I sneaked back into the bathroom. I rounded the corner, and LO! There he (or she) was. Nearly falling over the laundry hamper, I abandoned my towel sword and ran frantically around trying to find the vacuum that I had apparently misplaced. After much crashing noises, stubbing of toes, and skipped heartbeats, I was finally poised four feet across from the spider, my eyes narrowed in a glare that causes humans to believe I hate them but apparently does nothing to spiders, holding the vacuum, ready to suck up the spider that had ruined my peaceful night's sleep.

Safely back in bed after disposing of the tiny creature I had not-so-fondly nicknamed "Beelzebub," I didn't fall asleep until I heard that tiny voice:

"I want that."

I wrinkled my metaphorical brow in confusion. "You want what?"

"I want that paralyzing fear. I want you to hand it over to Me."

I'm fairly certain my little brain-me was laughing. "You want spiders? You want me to surrender my fear of spiders?"

Apparently. All of a sudden it was no laughing matter.

"Really? Are You sure? It's really not a big deal..."

"Then why won't you give it up?"

"Good question..."

What does God do when you ask to be close to Him? He answers. And He answers by stripping away everything in your life that is not of Him. Great and small do not exist in His eyes; every single tiny little thing is important to Him. If there is a teeny-tiny little thing that is keeping you from being completely sold out for Him, I can guarantee that when you ask for intimacy with Christ, He will go to all lengths to get that teeny-tiny little thing out of your life.

I like when God asks for big things. It makes me feel better about myself. I feel very self-satisfied when I follow His call in giving up a pastime, an addiction, a relationship -- something that has been a huge, very obvious part of my life.

And then there are the times He asks for the not-so-big things. Like spiders. And when He asks for these things, to my shock and horror I discover that these tiny little things have a fiercer hold over my heart than anything big He's ever taken away. He slowly shows to me that fear and compromise are a part of my every day life in areas I've never even thought about. Jesus cares what I think of spiders?? Yes. Yes He does. It was news to me too.

So I am embarking on a rather terrifying journey: Overcoming fear through the power of Christ. The fear just happens to be of eight-legged creepy crawlers who, my entomologically-learned brother informed me, are mostly harmless in my pleasant little home.

We were not made to be enslaved to anyone or anything but Christ. Let us take hold of the power of the cross in every area of our lives -- no matter how ridiculous it is. He cares. He desires that part of your heart. He loves. And He has overcome.