"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I love this question. The possibilities are endless, and so fascinating. My first-ever answer to that question, back when I was four, was the very predictable, very little-girl "ballerina." (Does it make it more unique that I wanted to be an evangelical ballerina?) However, 14+ years of ballet training, while teaching me dedication, hard work, and how to spell "Pas de bourree," have only served to convince me that my calling is not to shout the Gospel from the stage en pointe (the last thing the audience would be thinking about is "grace"!).
I loved to dream. From choir director to flight attendant, from computer analyst to mom, my elementary, middle, and high school days were filled with daydreams about "when I grow up."
Well, I'm not grown up yet (though Time is trying to convince me otherwise). But my "when I grow up I want to be" hasn't changed, not in two in a half years. Lay it down, God has whispered. Give it to Me, be willing to have it changed, wrecked, taken away. But He has given my dream back time and time again, and I don't anticipate it changing anytime in the near or distant future.
How did that even happen? For years, I had a new career idea every odd Tuesday. I would determine to be a veterinarian, and off I would run to learn all I could about how to save the animals. The next Tuesday I was going to be a periodontist, and I mentally prepared myself for staring in peoples' mouths all day. And how could I forget the dozens upon dozens of games of "dental hygienist" that played out on TV trays, so long ago that I've changed bedrooms three times since then?
How did a dream finally stick?
It will always be a bit of a mystery to me. I think I've gone to my mom more than once exclaiming, "How in the world do people who don't know Jesus figure out what to do with their lives?" (Really. If you don't personally know Jesus, number 1, Jesus is AWESOME and we should talk, and number 2, if you've figured out what you want to do with your life without Him, I want to know how you did it!)
Of course, when people ask me, "How did you know you wanted to study nursing?" my answer doesn't sound anything like, "My macaroni and cheese noodles fell into the shape of a stethoscope."
I've come to realize that it's not necessarily what I do with my life. It's why.
"People who do not know the Lord ask why in the world we waste our lives as missionaries. They forget that they too are expending their lives ... and when the bubble has burst, they will have nothing of eternal significance to show for the years they have wasted." That quote by Nate Saint was the inspiration for the title of this blog, and I still love the thought it contains.
We're only given one life. It's not practice. It is preparation, but if we fail to make the one choice that needs to be made, we don't get to come back and try again. And if we hoard our lives, we don't get another chance to come back and serve those whose lives might have been brighter had we given of ourselves.
So yes, I'm going to be a nurse. But more than that, I'm going to be a missionary.
Will I go overseas? At some point, I have no doubt. But I could also be a missionary right here. You don't have to live in Cambodia to be a missionary. You can live in Smalltown, USA. You don't have to be a doctor or a teacher to be a missionary. You can be a store clerk or a florist. In fact, one of the greatest missionaries I know is my mom. She's never been to Africa in her life (that I know of) and she left healthcare a while ago, but that doesn't keep her from giving her life away right where she's at.
With this in mind, I can see the value and the importance of every single occupation and calling.
So I'm not sure we all need to be sitting around wondering what we ought to do with our lives. I guess you don't need to know Jesus to understand what you ought to do with your life (though I still think He is so helpful!). It's not as though there's this one magical thing we're supposed to do, and if we don't do it we'll be forever cursed. If you're supposed to do it, Jesus will lead you to it. But in general, I think He works through our talents and through what we enjoy. There is nothing more spiritual about being miserable or being bad at something. He has designed us for a purpose, and He wants us to both enjoy that purpose and be effective for the Kingdom in that position.
So have fun with your life, my friend. Have fun!
And there's this really cool thing I'm starting to realize.
We don't have to wait until we grow up to be missionaries.
