Ever since I started this blog, my most popular posts have been about singleness. Not, I think, because I am any sort of particularly-gifted when it comes to this topic, but more because it is a topic near and dear to the Christian subculture. Many people have written more eloquently, more profoundly, more wittily on the topic than I ever could.
But I have something to say. Blog after blog, book after book has told me to be thankful for this "season of singleness," because all too soon it will be over, and I need to take advantage of it while it's still here.
And that's where the fear creeps in, because maybe just maybe, it won't ever be over and I won't be grateful that I took advantage of my single years. I'll be jaded and bitter, because that blogger and that author and that pastor told me that if I'd be content, seize the day, and become a little bit more like Jesus, the Marriage Fairy would leave a boy (er, excuse me, a man) under my pillow.
Maybe I shouldn't be thankful for this season of singleness because it's going to be over before I know it.
Maybe I should just be thankful for today.
Today I happen to be single. Tomorrow I'll probably happen to be single, too (I mean, it'll take at least twenty-four hours for Tim Tebow to get here, so I've got that long). And I can be thankful for singleness, but why not choose to just be thankful for life -- a life that currently involves singleness?
It is not a choice that is made once for all. Thanksgiving…hope…joy…surrender… "Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done" (C.S. Lewis). So when I wake up single and I wake up married, I have to choose again for that day, knowing I'll choose again tomorrow.
And we grow frustrated, frustrated that life is not like buying a toaster oven that takes one day and hopefully lasts for years to come, but even there, there is grace. Even there, there is something else to be thankful for. Because every day is a new start. Every day is a chance to begin fresh, to live thankful, live joyful, live hopeful, live surrendered.
So we live thankful for the sweet moments: For the loud conversation in a room full of friends, the spontaneous adventures, the unexpected words of encouragement. The Mommy-cuddles and banter with Daddy, the comfort you feel around your siblings, the laughter shared by tight-knit families. The crisp breezes that feel like home, the fingers that fit perfectly between yours, the secret smiles and shared jokes, the goofy grins when you're happy for no reason.
And we live thankful for the hard days: The tear-soaked pillows. The slamming of your fist into the wall when you just can't handle it anymore, but somehow have to make it through one more day. The heartbreaking, agonized questions and the lack of answers. The hardships that just keep piling up, because difficulty doesn't come single-serve, it comes in a baker's dozen.
These things happen, with or without a significant relationship. These are the things that make up life. If there's a man, he'll make it into the sweet moments and the hard days alike, but that doesn't change the fact that I need a heart that whispers thank you, no matter the circumstances.
We do not become more like Jesus because one day that will make us better husbands or wives. We become more like Jesus, because that's what loving Jesus does to you.
We do not seize today because one day we'll have the 'ole ball and chain preventing us from doing fun stuff. We seize today because our life -- the whole, the long and short and every season of it -- was purchased by Christ for abundance and freedom and adventure.
We don't live thankful because our single days are going to be over one day. We reach out and we grasp each moment, each day, because we live thankful for now. This moment. This breath. This season, no matter how hard, no matter how lonely, we are thankful because it is ours and it never will be again.
Not just singleness.
Today. Today is yours, and never will be again.
