I live on the second floor of a two-story, apartment-style dorm complex. It's pretty great. Okay, really great.Tonight, for the first time, I was in a downstairs apartment for an extended period of time. I hadn't realized until now how much noise travels downstairs. My first thought was, "Oh! Our poor downstairs neighbors! I wonder what they've heard?"
My second thought was a much more panicked, "....What have they heard??"
I wracked my brain, trying to think of embarrassing things I've said loudly. There's probably many of them. And even worse...have I said anything about other people?
God gently but piercingly spoke to my heart. The way you speak should be such that you should never even have to worry about that.
Oh, so much conviction.
The Lord brought to mind five categories of persons I believe we should be mindful of when we speak. In fact, I believe we should be imagining that they can hear every single word we say. I would like to share those with you.
- Our Friends. I love my friends. I love them a lot. And they're pretty great. I don't tend to criticize them, because they don't give me a lot of reason to. But if they could hear every single word I speak about them, would they feel honored? Would they feel treasured, loved, encouraged and uplifted? One hundred percent of the time? If we notice something less-than-admirable in them, should we not take this concern first to Christ and, if appropriate, to the friends themselves? No one should ever hear derogatory comments about the people I do life with. If I would not say it to their face, I should say it to no one.
- Our Enemies. I'm not sure I have any "enemies," so perhaps I'll define this more loosely as "people we don't particularly like." Sometimes, personalities don't click. Sometimes, circumstances cloud our opinions. Sometimes, we try to hold non-Christians to the same standard to which we ought to hold ourselves. Whatever the reason for our distaste, it needs to be brought to the feet of Christ, and left there. "Love through me, Love of God," Amy Carmichael pleaded, and He can do it. If the people we're not naturally particularly fond of could hear what we say about them, would they be amazed at the unconditional, consuming love of Christ pouring through us? Or would they find rejection and disdain? May it never be!
- Our Parents. I cannot tell you the number of times a child has posted something on Facebook, thinking their parent will never see it, only to have the parent find it. First off, how embarrassing. And secondly, what good does it do? Speaking negatively about our parents behind their backs is only destructive. It solidifies opinions that they are careless, worthless, brainless, or what have you, and it does nothing to address any real problems that might be going on. I realize that not everyone was given parents like mine, and there might be real hurt involved. But if they could hear what you said to your friends -- what would they do? How would they feel? Would it encourage them to be a better parent, or would it just make them angry? Can we not at least give them the honor of speaking to them directly?
- Our Future Spouse. If I am going to be blessed with marriage, my future husband is alive. He's out there somewhere. He's doing something tonight. Maybe he's wondering what I'm doing. And how would he feel...if I was giggling about someone other than him? Let me tell you, some of these days, he would have been horrified. Sickened. Heartbroken. This has less to do with how we speak about our future spouse and more to do with honoring them. If my guy could see the way I speak with and about the opposite sex, would he feel honored? Would he be impressed by my gracious, ladylike, decorous speech? Or would he cringe, his heart aching for me to be more cautious with my words?
- God Himself. Not to make God sound like a creeper or anything, but, uh, He can hear you. And He tells us that "men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken" (Matt. 12:36). Wow. That one always convicts me. How many times do I speak without thinking? How many times do I speak without considering that my words are to be an offering of worship to a Most High God who gave up His life for me?
There is so much in Scripture regarding the tongue. God wants that part of our life, and He has every right to claim it. May our speech ever be such that finding out our downstairs roommates can overhear would be far from a concern -- it would be a blessing, for they would be overhearing the most uplifting, Christlike conversation they'd ever encountered.
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." -Ephesians 4:29-32
