The Elephant Bag

I Googled the word "stress" to try and find an awesome "I'm-going-out-of-my-mind-because-I-have-so-much-to-do" definition. I only found one: "a state of mental or emotional strain or suspense." The rest went something like this: "to stress, single out as important; special emphasis attached to something; a melodic rock band formed in San Diego in 1983."

By the world's standards, I should be stressed. All-State Choir auditions, Nurse Aide certification testing, driver's test (after I've already failed once), grades in some areas dropping for no apparent reason, Nietzsche, an annoying stomach and my omnipresent perfectionism should not a happy Senior Year make.

Usually.

But while I do freak out a lot; while I will occasionally walk down the hall making high-pitched buzzing noises to dispel anxiety; while I do have to have a weekly cry-fest so that all my emotions don't explode later on; I'm quite happy. I don't feel stressed. Those reactions are usually spur of the moment before I've had time to do that very important thing that helps me remove stress and put it on God (in Google's terms, "single Him out as important"). Doing this thing is very relieving. It helps me slow down, put into words exactly what I'm feeling, and let it go.

I go to the Elephant Bag.

The Elephant Bag is a little pastel-colored baby gift bag that sits on my desk. It's medium sized, lined with colorful tissue paper, and has a stack of sticky-notes and a pen sitting next to it. Inside the elephant bag are dozens of folded up blue sticky notes. I don't reach back inside that bag. What goes in there, stays in there. (Until it gets full. I haven't quite decided what to do when that happens.)

Whenever something in my life goes horribly wrong; whenever things don't go my way; whenever I'm asked to give something up; whenever I'm anxious about something; I write down the date on a blue sticky note, write something to the effect of "this is what's going on; I give it to You," fold it up, and put it in the Elephant Bag. That bag is for Jesus. It has many declarations of the surrender of many parts of my life.

Simply writing it down doesn't do much. And I'm not saying that all my problems have been solved by a pastel gift bag with a baby elephant on it. But writing those things down, and handing them over, usually leads me to a time of sitting quietly before my God and really letting Him fill up the empty parts of my life.

I'm not always good at "leaving things" in the Elephant Bag. While the sticky notes stay there, the things I've surrendered don't always stay in Jesus hands. (This is perfectly evidenced by the multiple sticky notes proclaiming, "Jesus, I give you [insert name of person here]" that have gone in there probably at least once a week...) But the more we practice surrender, the better we get at it -- because we learn to be filled with Someone better.

"Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you." He means that. He wants us to take everything that causes us distress, anxiety, stress, and throw it onto His shoulders. Then our arms are free to reach up to Him in a silent plea of, "Daddy, let me hug You."

Maybe an elephant bag won't work for you. But I know casting your cares will. Discover the way you need to meet with God in order to give Him all your troubles. He loves you. He wants to hear about it. And He wants to take care of it. But first, you have to hand it over. Put it in your Elephant Bag; and leave it there.

[Note: This is not an original idea. It was taken from the novel "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers, in which one of the characters uses a hatbox to collect all her prayers. I personally think an elephant bag is cuter than a hat box. But that might just be me.]

A Dance With Jesus

Last night was my high school's Homecoming dance. It was an emotionally exhausting evening in many ways; but I loved it. And I'm about to tell you one of the reasons.

I don't usually worry about whether or not I'm asked to dance. I dance some, I sit others out, others I dance with my friends, but it typically all averages out nicely. However, at one point last night, I was aching for a dance. So I sat down and danced with Jesus.

Sound like an oxymoron? So is Jesus' love. I sat on a bench, accepted Jesus' gentle invitation to take His hand, and waltzed through the other couples -- all while never leaving my seat. As my eyes rested on the people on the dance floor -- some I know well and love, others I've only just met -- I talked to Jesus about them. I prayed for them as individuals; for them in relation to me, in relation to the person they were dancing with, and in relation to Jesus. For some, I prayed renewed passion. I prayed peace over others. I prayed truth over the lies being spoken to some. There were those I simply praised Him for. Others, I just said, "Jesus, I have no idea what to pray for that person or even what their name is, but please work in them!"

I cried quite a few times last night for various reasons. Most of the time, people assumed there was something wrong. And most of the time, there was. I was selfishly crying for myself. But there was one point during the night when my tears were justified; and that was during my dance with Jesus. I wept for others. He stepped in and broke my heart for the things that break His. He stepped in and reminded me, "This is not about you. This is about Me. I'm holding your heart; now pray for those who haven't yet learned to give Me the pieces." And then He gently added, "And never forget that I love dancing with you, because you are so, so precious to Me."

So this is to tell all of you beautiful girls (and handsome guys) that when there's no one to dance with, Jesus steps out and says, "I want your entire life to be a dance with Me; but let's just start with this song." Your dance with Jesus may look entirely different from mine. Maybe He'll take that entire time to remind you how absolutely beautiful you are. Maybe there will be one specific person you need to talk about while dancing. Maybe it's time to close your eyes, and trust Him to lead you. Whatever it is, He'll wait there with outstretched hands.

And so the phrase, "Dance with God; He'll let the perfect man cut in" can come true; very, very literally. =)

To Save A Life

You cannot save a life.

Now, there is the very literal running in and diving in front of a bullet before it hits someone else kind of saving a life, but that's not what I'm talking about.

You cannot save a life.

In the under-read and under-appreciated book of Ezekiel, the Lord leads Ezekiel into a valley of dry bones and asks him, "Son of man, can these bones live?"

What does Ezekiel say? Does he hop around, waving his hand in the air shouting, "Pick me! Pick me!"

"Yes, Ezekiel."

Ezekiel clears his throat and says importantly, "Yes, and I'm going to be the one to bring them back to life!"

No. That's not what Ezekiel says. He looks around at this valley of dry bones, shakes his head, and says humbly, "O Sovereign Lord, You alone know."

After Ezekiel admits that only God knows whether this is possible -- then the Lord uses him. He says, "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, 'Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.'"

Notice something about that last passage. Who's doing the talking? Ezekiel is the one speaking to the bones...but it's God who's putting the words in his mouth. It's God who's fulfilling what He is commanding Ezekiel to prophesy. It's God who's bringing the dead back to life. Ezekiel's only response is, "So I prophesied as I was commanded."

What we need to realize is that we are the hands and feet of Christ. We are the mouthpieces. We are the hugs, the tissue-providers, the audible encouragers, the back-rubbers, the loving note writers. We are, in a sense, the prophets of Jesus Christ. But we are not Jesus Christ. All the hugs and tissues and loving notes in the world are not going to change someone. They're not going to save a life. Jesus Christ working through you is.

Does this mean we should pack up our bags and never try to change someone's life again? Absolutely not. We are to do as Ezekiel did and be able to say, "So I prophesied as I was commanded." Just as you cannot save a life without Jesus working through you, Jesus desires a vessel through which to work.

This should not be a distressing thought, that you are incapable of saving a life. It's out of your hands. It is up to God, and in His hands, this person you care so much about is entirely, completely, wonderfully safe. Do not refuse the call to be the hands and feet; but also do not believe that you, on your own, are solely responsible for redeeming a soul. Follow in the footsteps of Ezekiel, who said, "The hand of the Lord was upon me"; and only then were lives changed and the dead brought back to life.

Fireflies

"Jesus Christ did not say, 'Go into all the world and tell the world that it is quite right.'" ~C.S. Lewis

The call to abandon all, to become a "nobody," and to die to self is not a very popular call these days. We'd rather keep all those things we love. We'd rather be a "somebody." We'd rather have our own desires.

We'd rather have this world than Jesus.

Let me tell you about a time in my life when I had to give up two very important things/people that Jesus called me to put on the altar...

Actually, I can't, because this story doesn't just involve me. But let me see if I can put it in the abstract for you.

Jesus said, "Any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be My disciple" (Luke 14:33). But oh, I say, Jesus, isn't that a little harsh? I mean, I'll give You some of this stuff in my life. But everything? I don't even think I know about everything that's in my life!

But that's what He said. He also said, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters -- yes, even his own life -- he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26).

Oh! I protest. That doesn't sound like Jesus at all! Didn't He say we should love each other? Ah-ha! Jesus is wrong! This means I don't have to do that...right?

Wrong. Of course, He did not mean that we should all start yelling at each other and despising the people He's put in our lives. But in comparison to our love for Him, our love for the things of this world should look like hate. There should be a huge difference between our love for Him and our love for the blessings He pours over us. Think about it like the difference between the love you have for ice cream, and the love a husband and wife have for each other. Hopefully, there's quite a contrast there.

The things we are given in this world can oftentimes be good! Friendships, goals, dreams, relationships. But God did not ask Abraham to put a despised son on the altar; He requested "your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love." He asks that even our good desires; our good dreams; our good relationships; be offered on the altar. He asks for a declaration that He is more important; that if something else is claiming our attention above Him, we give it up immediately.

The problem is, when we put things on the altar, we oftentimes expect to get them back. "I'll give You my hope of a love story, and then You can give it back. Deal? Deal." And I've put a lot of friendships and dreams on the altar that He has, indeed, been faithful to refine and then restore. But there are other things I put on the altar that I am never given back. Things, people, dreams, that I love, and that are good; but are consuming too much of my life. They are lovers that are taking the place of my First Love, and He gently asks me to give them up without ever expecting to get them back.

But in all honesty, though these are the most painful sacrifices, they can also be some of the most beautiful. The larger the offering loomed in our heart, the larger the hole when it is gone; and the more of God we receive in return. When He takes away, He will never leave you empty. He will fill you with Himself, if you will just ask and seek.

You may live your entire life a Christian without ever truly experiencing Christ. And you can stay that way. You can remain complacent, as a Christian but never a disciple. But if you would experience the fullness of joy in God's presence, go; sell all you have; and follow Him. He will not disappoint.

(Oh, and what in the world does the title have to do with this post, you may ask? Some of you already know. The rest of you probably don't need to.)

As the Deer

I had a hard week. Everything that God has taught me this summer, all the ways He's satisfied me, have been tested. Is He really enough? Do you really think He wants the best for you? Is this truly what He's asking of you? Doesn't He want you to have fun?

So, I'm kinda writing this post with nothing to say as of beginning it. I just need -- I need -- to write about my great God and remind myself of who He is, of what He's done, of His mighty ability to save.

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God," writes the Psalmist. A nice concept. But I don't always pant for God. I pant for God, and something else. Then it becomes panting for something else, and God. And then, God is just in the background, a pretty little idea I once new, and the something else has become my primary desire.

Here's the funny thing, though: Panting after God satisfies. Asking Him to fill results in fulfillment. Panting after something else -- well, that just leads to more panting. And pretty soon our tongue gets dry and swallowing becomes uncomfortable...

Anywho. I know, from personal experience, that my God satisfies. Every time. And I also know that the other things I pant after might satisfy temporarily, but eventually leave me longing for something greater.

Here's the other funny thing. When we long for God, and He satisfies us, we still long for more. We are satisfied -- and yet we desire to be satisfied ever more deeply. The more He fills us, and the more we beg for more, the deeper His love and grace in our life penetrates.

Scripture calls God a "God who knows." He knows where you've been, He knows where you are, but what He actually cares about is whether or not you believe that He's by your side. I know He's by my side. I may not always see it, but whose fault is that? I know it's not His; He's still there. Will you dare to believe that He's still there, that He still aches to fill you, and that He will satisfy you more and more?

Well, this accomplished my goal... I love Jesus! So much! And He loves you!

My Lover, My Friend

You are reading the musings of a die-hard romantic. I am positively in love with love. Romance is the key ingredient of any story. If you had asked me about two months ago if I was called to be single, I would have laughed in your face, then gone home and thought about how ridiculous you were to assume that God would plan something like that for me. In my opinion, singleness was just not an option for my life. I love love too much.

Loving love has gotten me into some trouble...but that's not my point here. My point is to tell you about the ultimate Lover, the One who satisfies even when hope of an earthly romance fades away.

After obeying God's call to give up any semblance of romance in my life that was coming from a source other than Him, I thought for a long time that it was unfair. Most of my other friends had no moral problem with dating. I tried to convince myself that I had gone overboard. I had misunderstood God's call, that was all. After all, He wants me to be happy, doesn't He? But I couldn't escape the whisper upon my heart, Beloved, this is not what I have for you right now. Come close and let Me show you what I want for this season of your life.

"But God," I pleaded, "What You want's not what I want."

That's exactly My point, Beloved. Let Me give you My dreams. Let Me shape your desires. Let Me turn your world upside down.

Along this journey, I encountered some beautiful treasures in Scripture. I spent a lot of time in Hosea and Song of Songs, and discovered the nature of my Lover. Song of Songs 5:16 declares, "His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem." This was the part of Himself that God wanted to reveal to me. This was the thing I had been missing, the thing He called me away to discover.

This is not an easy journey. It's not quite the definition of "fun." God will often call us away from the things that are distracting us, as He did for me. He will almost always call us to give up something so that He can prove that He is more than enough to fill. But the love that we discover is well worth it. The Beloved of Song of Songs describes it: "Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its ardor unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away."

We must be willing to surrender, and give up whatever it is that keeps us from discovering the true nature of our God. For me, it was romance and all my hopes and dreams of ever marrying. God had a heyday with that one. I don't know what it is in your life; but are you willing to be stripped down, to give up everything you know so that you can discover the joy that Jesus wants to show you?

Hosea 2:14 says, "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." Before He can win us, before He can capture our hearts, He must lead us out into the desert. He must take us through the wasteland before we will be able to see the beauty of what waits on the other side. Take His hand, walk into the desert with Him, and there give Him everything. He will become your Lover; He will become your Friend. Pour out everything at His feet, and He will fill you beyond what you ever thought possible.

Battle Cry

I really love spiritual warfare.

Now, that comment can easily be misunderstood. I do not sit around dwelling on this topic. I do not love the fact that Satan has power on the earth. I do not sit around calling up demons so that I can fight them.

I love fighting. With every word I say and everything I do, I fight for the Kingdom of God. Not by dwelling on the reality of Satan or his minions; but by dwelling on the beauty and power of Christ. That, in and of itself, is spiritual warfare. Every time I open my mouth to praise Him, every time you open your mouth to praise Him, Satan is silenced. Psalm 8:2 says, "From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger." Because I want to live my life to be a worshiper, my entire life is a battle cry.

So what exactly does a battle-cry-life look like? The first part is what I mentioned above: A life of worship is the life of a warrior. Spiritual warfare does not cease when we step outside our church doors. We cannot leave our heart of worship in the sanctuary. We are told to live as though working for God, not for man. Doing everything with a heart unto the Lord, keeping our eyes and mind focused on Him, is one of the best ways that we can combat our enemy.

The second part of living this life is recognizing Satan's lies in your life (putting on the belt of truth). In Hosea, God proclaimed, "My people perish from lack of knowledge." The lies that are breathed into our lives must constantly be replaced by God's truth. This requires being continually in the Word of God, understanding who He is and what He says -- and then believing that He is who He says He is, and will do what He says He will do (shield of faith).

We are also told not to give the devil a foothold by embracing things such as anger, bitterness, revenge, etc (putting on the breastplate of righteousness). A heart fully surrendered to Christ and striving to be more like His will, of course, be under more attack, because it is more of a threat -- but it will be helped.

We are also commanded to have our feet fitted with the gospel of peace, and to take up the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit. One of the most effective ways to combat Satan's army is to spread the Word of God. To be His missionaries, both in our hometown and around the world. Revelation 12:11 says, "They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony." Our testimony, and our identity in Christ, are a battle cry and a weapon all in one. Use them.

Finally, Ephesians 6 tells us to "pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests." Satan cannot stand a vibrant prayer life. Don't just pray in your head -- remember, Satan can't hear your thoughts! I write my prayers. You can speak them out loud. Pray scripture. Whatever you do, just pray.

And always remember that "you, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world" (1 John4:4). Our victory is already secured. Do not dwell on these things, but also do not be afraid of them. Proclaim the word of God boldly. Live a life of worship. Recall that you are a citizen of heaven, sealed in Christ. And fight.

"Therefore rejoice, you heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you! He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short." ~Revelation 12:12