I'm turning the world off, embracing the silence
Walking away from all the voices that are screaming in my ear
I've been too caught up; I've been so stressed out
And all of the noise replaced the whisper that used to be so clear
So I close every door and put my face back on the floor...
~"In Your Arms," Meredith Andrews
"What do you want to teach me, God? What are you asking of me? What do you want me to hear from You?"
The questions continue as my frustration grows at the lack of communication I seem to be having. Are my prayers getting through? Do dorm room walls somehow block out Jesus?
And then, all of a sudden, the answer slams into me, as subtle as a sledgehammer and as gentle as a landing butterfly.
Be still!
There is nothing that compares to sitting with Jesus for minute upon minute, hour upon hour... But in the middle of so much going on, what about when I don't have time for hours to be still?
But He didn't say, Be still for six hours. He just said, "Be still! Period!"
So I did...
Oh goodness, Jesus loves me. How much He longs to tell me, every day, through everything! How He wants me to run to Him, let Him protect me, understand how He watches over me. How desperately He longs for me to obey Him so that I can experience greater intimacy with Him.
And as I kneel in His throne room...how He longs to rise up from His throne, and rush down to me.
To me!!
I love you, He whispers. Can I show you? Can you see everything in this entire world as part of a love song and a love story I am writing between us? Can you see everything as an opportunity to come closer to Me? Can I pick you up, can I hold you close, can I guide you and lead you and love you?
How He loves...
"Be still," He whispers. "Be still and let Me love you."
That's all He wants to teach me right now. Because nothing else in this world matters. We love because He first loved us...so how can we love without understanding the depth of that glorious love?
Oh, that He would love in and through me!
Showing posts with label Jesus' Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jesus' Love. Show all posts
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Jesus Loves Me
Jesus loves me.
Simple fact.
Jesus loves me.
He does not want me to be miserable.
He does not have devious plans to ruin my life.
He does not hate my stuff.
He does not want me to be a dull, boring person cooped up in a bare house my whole life.
He doesn't want me to never have fun.
He loves me.
And He knows. He knows the plans He has for me. He doesn't have a vague inkling. He doesn't randomly switch His ideas about my future on every odd-numbered Tuesday. He knows.
Goodness knows I don't... I'm glad Someone does!
When I feel like I don't fit in... When I wonder to myself, "What in the world am I doing here?"... When I want to turn and run the other way, a gentle whisper embraces my heart and says, "I love you, and I know."
I still don't
But He does. And He loves me.
And when I hang back, he turns His head to look at me. He smiles, holds out His hand, and without a word, His eyes say, "Will you follow?"
When I say, "I can't," He says, "I can."
When I say, "It's too hard," He says, "My burden is light."
When I say, "It's too dangerous," He says, "You will walk through fire and not be burned."
Through fire!...and not be burned!
Jesus loves me.
Jesus loves you.
The least I can do is love Him back.
Simple fact.
Jesus loves me.
He does not want me to be miserable.
He does not have devious plans to ruin my life.
He does not hate my stuff.
He does not want me to be a dull, boring person cooped up in a bare house my whole life.
He doesn't want me to never have fun.
He loves me.
And He knows. He knows the plans He has for me. He doesn't have a vague inkling. He doesn't randomly switch His ideas about my future on every odd-numbered Tuesday. He knows.
Goodness knows I don't... I'm glad Someone does!
When I feel like I don't fit in... When I wonder to myself, "What in the world am I doing here?"... When I want to turn and run the other way, a gentle whisper embraces my heart and says, "I love you, and I know."
I still don't
But He does. And He loves me.
And when I hang back, he turns His head to look at me. He smiles, holds out His hand, and without a word, His eyes say, "Will you follow?"
When I say, "I can't," He says, "I can."
When I say, "It's too hard," He says, "My burden is light."
When I say, "It's too dangerous," He says, "You will walk through fire and not be burned."
Through fire!...and not be burned!
Jesus loves me.
Jesus loves you.
The least I can do is love Him back.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Relinquishing the Pen
I tear the love story I’ve written into shreds and throw them into the fire. Burying my face in my arms, I lie crumpled on the floor, unable to believe I could have let myself get carried away like that. I have hurt not only myself, but also the others involved in the story I have penned for myself.
The Lover of my soul appears, seemingly out of nowhere, and sits beside me while I cry. His arms wrap tightly around me, and His heart lavishes compassion on me. He doesn’t say a word; His presence is enough to soon calm my tears.
I look up at Him. “What did I do wrong?”
His eyes are filled with sadness. His heart is breaking for me; I can tell. I want to go back and erase it all. I want a fresh start. “Beloved, you did not ask of Me.”
I collapse into tears again, ashamed that I have walked away from my truest Friend. He stays beside me, comforting me. He assures me He will not leave me. And then He says the one thing I have been dying to hear.
“I can make it all go away. I can give you a new beginning.”
I look up with hope and dash away the tears. “Do You mean it?”
“I do. All you have to do is give Me that pen, and I’ll start it all over for you.”
I look down at the pen upon which His eyes are resting. I grimace. “Lord, this isn’t just the pen I’ve used to write my love story… It’s what I’ve been using to write my life story.”
“If you would have Me write a beautiful love story, I must have your entire life. But the choice is up to you.”
I gaze into His eyes, so full of love. I know that if I give up the pen, He will write a story beyond what I can even comprehend. But even so, I enjoy the security of my pen. I enjoy having the option of saying “no” to something He suggests. If nothing else, it is entertaining to try out certain plot devices, even if they had never worked out before and likely wouldn’t in the future.
“How about we collaborate?” I suggest hopefully. “I’ll leave the pen on that desk there, and when You want to write something You can, and when I want to write something, I can.”
“The choice is up to you,” He repeats.
I smile, glad that we’ve come to an agreement.
Time passes. I find myself in the middle of another love story. Since I’ve asked my heavenly Lover to collaborate, I’m sure that this time, it will all work out all right.
But it’s not too long before I find myself ripping it to shreds and tossing it in the fire yet again.
“Why didn’t you intervene?” I rage at Him. “I told You we would collaborate. Why didn’t You make it all work out in the end?”
“You began with ideas that were all your own – not Mine. If you had realized this earlier and asked Me to step in, I would have – but you never left the pen. You asked Me to collaborate, but you never even stepped aside and asked My opinion.”
I stare down at the pen. He is right. I had never once abandoned my post as author. Even if I had, all of His time would have been spent cleaning up the mess I had made. There would be no time for new adventures. If we switched off writing, it would be an endless rollercoaster, where I would write myself into a corner, He would write me out of it, and then it would all begin again. There was nothing beautiful about that.
“What do I have to do, then?” I ask.
“You have to give it up. Completely.”
I look down at the pen that has been my best friend and my worst enemy. Can I really leave it all behind? Can I forsake what I want to write into my life? Can I leave it entirely up to Him?
I look at Him. He looks back. He is longing for me to hand the pen over. He has a story in mind. I can see it written all over His face. He wants to write it, to make it all turn out beautifully, to bring it to a glorious ending that’s even better than the fairy tales.
I look at the pen again. I think of the heartache that it has cost me. I think of all the people I’ve hurt by my unskilled writing.
I walk up to my Lover, fall to the ground before Him, and there leave the pen. Never to pick it up again.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
The Living Christ
"He is risen!"
"He is risen, indeed!"
Why, you might ask, is this very Easter-ish dialogue being posted in July? I will tell you why.
Because Jesus is still alive.
"Christ Jesus, who died -- more than that, who was raised to life -- is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us." ~Romans 8:34
He's not only alive, He's alive with a job: To intercede for us. To stand in the gap between us and the Father. To be able to do that, He has to know what's going on in our lives. He has to know the thoughts we think and the prayers we pray. He's alive, and is not distant, He is here.
Too often, I think we believe in the God who rose from the dead -- not the God who has risen. We believe Christ conquered death and can save us from hell, but do we believe any more than that? Do we believe that He is right here in this room, waiting to speak to us? Do we believe that He can still heal the sick and raise the dead? Or does our faith cease at salvation and fail to believe Him for the full power of God in shaping and living the Christ-life? He is capable of so much more, and how He longs for us to open up our hearts and our minds so that He can show us!
How many of us go through life never experiencing the full power of the risen Christ? Sometimes I think we are so focused on worshiping the Jesus who died for us that we forget the Jesus who lives for us. His death, while so powerful, so important, so poignant, was only made victorious through His resurrection.
And not only did He return to life -- He remains in life. We do not serve a dead God! We serve a God whose power keeps the earth in motion. We serve a God who is present in our everyday lives -- and is literally right beside us at every moment. His heart beats, His eyes see, His smile lights up the faces of His children. He is alive.
Oh Lord, may we come to live in the light of that glorious reality.
"He is risen, indeed!"
Why, you might ask, is this very Easter-ish dialogue being posted in July? I will tell you why.
Because Jesus is still alive.
"Christ Jesus, who died -- more than that, who was raised to life -- is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us." ~Romans 8:34
He's not only alive, He's alive with a job: To intercede for us. To stand in the gap between us and the Father. To be able to do that, He has to know what's going on in our lives. He has to know the thoughts we think and the prayers we pray. He's alive, and is not distant, He is here.
Too often, I think we believe in the God who rose from the dead -- not the God who has risen. We believe Christ conquered death and can save us from hell, but do we believe any more than that? Do we believe that He is right here in this room, waiting to speak to us? Do we believe that He can still heal the sick and raise the dead? Or does our faith cease at salvation and fail to believe Him for the full power of God in shaping and living the Christ-life? He is capable of so much more, and how He longs for us to open up our hearts and our minds so that He can show us!
How many of us go through life never experiencing the full power of the risen Christ? Sometimes I think we are so focused on worshiping the Jesus who died for us that we forget the Jesus who lives for us. His death, while so powerful, so important, so poignant, was only made victorious through His resurrection.
And not only did He return to life -- He remains in life. We do not serve a dead God! We serve a God whose power keeps the earth in motion. We serve a God who is present in our everyday lives -- and is literally right beside us at every moment. His heart beats, His eyes see, His smile lights up the faces of His children. He is alive.
Oh Lord, may we come to live in the light of that glorious reality.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Jesus Goggles
"So from now on we regard no one from a worldy point of view..." ~2 Corinthians 5:16
I stared at the woman and willed her to open her mouth. She wouldn't. I gently pushed the spoon against her lips. They would not part. Her eyes stared at me -- I couldn't tell if it was a blank stare, or a malicious one. Either way, it was unsettling me. I shifted in my chair and tried to smile. Jesus, this is ridiculous! I don't have time for this!
"Kendall... Look again. What do you see?"
I looked. I saw a time-worn face; work-worn hands; and sorrow-worn eyes.
"That's My beloved, Kendall."
I blinked and looked again. Her? I knew God loved everybody, and loved them equally. And I also knew that He'd been revealing to me exactly how He felt about me. It was a kind of love I couldn't even begin to comprehend. He passionately longed after me, ached for me to come spend time with me, adored me. I was His beloved, His bride. But that was me. Surely not this woman? Surely He didn't long for her in the same way. Surely His affection for her was comparable to the peck on the cheek that estranged relatives awkwardly exchange at family reunions. Surely time had diminished some of the passion He had for her.
"That's My beloved. How will you treat the one I have called? The one I call holy? The one I call beautiful?"
I took a deep breath. Well, Lord, I can't really help her if she won't let me... So You have to open the mouth of Your beloved!"
"Open yours first."
A smile made its way to my lips as I said, "You have beautiful hair. And that's a wonderful color on you." I put down the spoonful I'd been working at for so long and got a fresh one. "This looks delicious. Would you like to try some?"
Her mouth opened.
The moment you first see Christ's beloved in the face of one person, you begin seeing His prize and His treasure everywhere. He has a story with each of them. He knows everything they've ever been through. Age does not affect His love whatsoever; some of the most poignant examples of Christ's beloved are seen in newborn babies and those about to enter their heavenly home. He is longing after each of them. He treasures them. He smiles and cries with them. All of them.
At times, I protest. "Not him, God. Why in the world would you want him?"
"Him."
And then, if I'm willing, He steps in and gives me "Jesus goggles." He shows me what He sees in these men and women, boys and girls. It never fails to take my breath away.
"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves... Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality... Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." (Romans 12:10, 12, 15)
I firmly believe we would treat people much differently if we always chose to see them as Christ sees them: Worthy. Longed after. Beloved.
May the eyes of our hearts be opened.
I stared at the woman and willed her to open her mouth. She wouldn't. I gently pushed the spoon against her lips. They would not part. Her eyes stared at me -- I couldn't tell if it was a blank stare, or a malicious one. Either way, it was unsettling me. I shifted in my chair and tried to smile. Jesus, this is ridiculous! I don't have time for this!
"Kendall... Look again. What do you see?"
I looked. I saw a time-worn face; work-worn hands; and sorrow-worn eyes.
"That's My beloved, Kendall."
I blinked and looked again. Her? I knew God loved everybody, and loved them equally. And I also knew that He'd been revealing to me exactly how He felt about me. It was a kind of love I couldn't even begin to comprehend. He passionately longed after me, ached for me to come spend time with me, adored me. I was His beloved, His bride. But that was me. Surely not this woman? Surely He didn't long for her in the same way. Surely His affection for her was comparable to the peck on the cheek that estranged relatives awkwardly exchange at family reunions. Surely time had diminished some of the passion He had for her.
"That's My beloved. How will you treat the one I have called? The one I call holy? The one I call beautiful?"
I took a deep breath. Well, Lord, I can't really help her if she won't let me... So You have to open the mouth of Your beloved!"
"Open yours first."
A smile made its way to my lips as I said, "You have beautiful hair. And that's a wonderful color on you." I put down the spoonful I'd been working at for so long and got a fresh one. "This looks delicious. Would you like to try some?"
Her mouth opened.
The moment you first see Christ's beloved in the face of one person, you begin seeing His prize and His treasure everywhere. He has a story with each of them. He knows everything they've ever been through. Age does not affect His love whatsoever; some of the most poignant examples of Christ's beloved are seen in newborn babies and those about to enter their heavenly home. He is longing after each of them. He treasures them. He smiles and cries with them. All of them.
At times, I protest. "Not him, God. Why in the world would you want him?"
"Him."
And then, if I'm willing, He steps in and gives me "Jesus goggles." He shows me what He sees in these men and women, boys and girls. It never fails to take my breath away.
"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves... Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality... Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." (Romans 12:10, 12, 15)
I firmly believe we would treat people much differently if we always chose to see them as Christ sees them: Worthy. Longed after. Beloved.
May the eyes of our hearts be opened.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
A Lasting Hope
"I finally started cutting for real. It bled. It hurt. But it's spring, and I'm going to stop. I don't want people to see the cuts on my arm and feel bad. So what will I do to stop the pain now? Isn't it obvious? I cut on my hip instead. And I'm only eleven. Is there no way out?" ~Six Billion Secrets
There are very few things more sad than this. More heart-breaking. But what may be even more sad than this "secret" is the sort of response this young lady received. Several people declaring that she needed to "go out and get a freakin' life." "You're flippin' eleven, live your life." And so on. Those who actually seemed to care repeated the same sentiment over and over: Cutting is not the answer.
But none of them seemed to know what the answer actually is.
This world is obsessed with quick fixes. People offered this girl options for what she could do instead of cutting: Squeeze an ice cube, write in a journal, hit a pillow. All excellent distractions that keep you from self-harm. I've done many of those things myself. But these are all immediate distractions, not a solution to the deeper problem that has to be eating away at this girl's heart. Even cutting is something of a "quick fix"; a symptom of a much more deep-seeded problem.
And no one had any idea how to address that. And that's what breaks my heart.
Five years ago, Jesus saw poor, pitiful little me. Huddled in a freezing cold study. Ready to go beyond just scratching myself, ready to gather the courage to actually make myself bleed. But before I could put anything to my arm, He gently whispered to my heart, I already took that cut. And I never cut, or even came close, again.
Two thousand years ago, Jesus saw that darling eleven-year-old girl. He saw her breaking heart. He saw the pain she couldn't keep inside any longer. He saw what she did to try and make it go away. And He gave up His life so that she could keep hers. But who is ever going to actually tell her what He did for her? Who is going to intercede on her behalf? Who is going to plead that someone will come into her life and let her know she is worthy of love? Who is going to be the hands and feet of Christ to this child?
I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home. I was blessed to have parents that gave me a solid foundation. I knew Bible verses. I knew who Jesus was. I knew the Gospel story. So that, in my darkest hour, when I heard Jesus' voice, I knew exactly who it was. But that is not a luxury that many have these days. If people know the Gospel, they tend to know the watered-down, fictional version.
But the Gospel has power. Jesus Christ has power. This world needs to know that when the blow was about to fall; when the blade was about to be lowered; when the whip was about to strike; Jesus stood in their place. His body took the hit. His arm took the cut. His back took the lashes that were rightfully ours. He removed the chains from our wrists and put them on His own, so that we could walk out of our prison cell and live in freedom. And not only did He take our chains -- He shattered them.
And even in America, when there's a church just about every five minutes down every given street, I never cease to be amazed how few people actually know this. When people ask, "Is there no way out?" why are Christ's children not stepping up and crying, "Yes! There is a way out! There is a God who loves you no matter what you do, who gave up His very life because He adores you so much. He doesn't want you to be perfect. He wants all your broken pieces. He wants your heartbreak, your depression, your anger, your sadness. He wants your ashes so that He can make them something beautiful. Please, just give them to Him!"
Instead, we write people off as lost causes.
Our God is alive. Our God is working. Our God stood in the gap, our God took the blow, our God aches for people to just come sit at His feet and be loved by Him. He doesn't want people to try harder. He doesn't want the prodigal to work for Him; He wants the prodigal to be wrapped up in His arms until everything that happened in the past is washed away.
Too often, I treat people as though they need to do more. As though they aren't trying hard enough to obey God. As though until they have exactly the same relationship with God that I have, they're not good enough.
But then I remember where I was five years ago. And I realize that some of these people have not learned to hear the voice of God. That they may never have even heard His Name. That they need someone, not to judge them, but to be Jesus' hands and feet. They need someone to tell them, He already took that cut.
They don't need to do more. They just need to be loved.
Let the Living God work and love through you. The world is starving for hope, and hope that lasts beyond a quick fix can only be found in Christ. Hope that saves lives comes from God. Hope that changes lives comes from the One who was cut, so that we don't have to be.
Hope comes from the Risen Christ. And we have the privilege of telling this world about Him.
There are very few things more sad than this. More heart-breaking. But what may be even more sad than this "secret" is the sort of response this young lady received. Several people declaring that she needed to "go out and get a freakin' life." "You're flippin' eleven, live your life." And so on. Those who actually seemed to care repeated the same sentiment over and over: Cutting is not the answer.
But none of them seemed to know what the answer actually is.
This world is obsessed with quick fixes. People offered this girl options for what she could do instead of cutting: Squeeze an ice cube, write in a journal, hit a pillow. All excellent distractions that keep you from self-harm. I've done many of those things myself. But these are all immediate distractions, not a solution to the deeper problem that has to be eating away at this girl's heart. Even cutting is something of a "quick fix"; a symptom of a much more deep-seeded problem.
And no one had any idea how to address that. And that's what breaks my heart.
Five years ago, Jesus saw poor, pitiful little me. Huddled in a freezing cold study. Ready to go beyond just scratching myself, ready to gather the courage to actually make myself bleed. But before I could put anything to my arm, He gently whispered to my heart, I already took that cut. And I never cut, or even came close, again.
Two thousand years ago, Jesus saw that darling eleven-year-old girl. He saw her breaking heart. He saw the pain she couldn't keep inside any longer. He saw what she did to try and make it go away. And He gave up His life so that she could keep hers. But who is ever going to actually tell her what He did for her? Who is going to intercede on her behalf? Who is going to plead that someone will come into her life and let her know she is worthy of love? Who is going to be the hands and feet of Christ to this child?
I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home. I was blessed to have parents that gave me a solid foundation. I knew Bible verses. I knew who Jesus was. I knew the Gospel story. So that, in my darkest hour, when I heard Jesus' voice, I knew exactly who it was. But that is not a luxury that many have these days. If people know the Gospel, they tend to know the watered-down, fictional version.
But the Gospel has power. Jesus Christ has power. This world needs to know that when the blow was about to fall; when the blade was about to be lowered; when the whip was about to strike; Jesus stood in their place. His body took the hit. His arm took the cut. His back took the lashes that were rightfully ours. He removed the chains from our wrists and put them on His own, so that we could walk out of our prison cell and live in freedom. And not only did He take our chains -- He shattered them.
And even in America, when there's a church just about every five minutes down every given street, I never cease to be amazed how few people actually know this. When people ask, "Is there no way out?" why are Christ's children not stepping up and crying, "Yes! There is a way out! There is a God who loves you no matter what you do, who gave up His very life because He adores you so much. He doesn't want you to be perfect. He wants all your broken pieces. He wants your heartbreak, your depression, your anger, your sadness. He wants your ashes so that He can make them something beautiful. Please, just give them to Him!"
Instead, we write people off as lost causes.
Our God is alive. Our God is working. Our God stood in the gap, our God took the blow, our God aches for people to just come sit at His feet and be loved by Him. He doesn't want people to try harder. He doesn't want the prodigal to work for Him; He wants the prodigal to be wrapped up in His arms until everything that happened in the past is washed away.
Too often, I treat people as though they need to do more. As though they aren't trying hard enough to obey God. As though until they have exactly the same relationship with God that I have, they're not good enough.
But then I remember where I was five years ago. And I realize that some of these people have not learned to hear the voice of God. That they may never have even heard His Name. That they need someone, not to judge them, but to be Jesus' hands and feet. They need someone to tell them, He already took that cut.
They don't need to do more. They just need to be loved.
Let the Living God work and love through you. The world is starving for hope, and hope that lasts beyond a quick fix can only be found in Christ. Hope that saves lives comes from God. Hope that changes lives comes from the One who was cut, so that we don't have to be.
Hope comes from the Risen Christ. And we have the privilege of telling this world about Him.
Friday, December 31, 2010
A Different Kind of "Going On"
There is a phrase that is used these days that absolutely tears at me. It is so indicative of the mediocrity and brokenness that Satan asks us to accept. He whispers, "Life is terrible. It can't get any worse (or could it?), and you can't feel any better...so you might as well just deal with it."
And we nod, lift our heads, brush off the dirt, and say resignedly, "And life goes on."
And yes: life goes on. It does. The circumstances that tear us down will soon be only painful memories, and the people who hurt us will soon move out of our lives. In some ways, the recognition of this fact is admirable. There is something in it that says, "No, I will not let these things break me. I will continue to fight and live and go on, and realize that I won't always feel like this." It refuses defeat.
But at the same time, it refuses healing.
Jesus did not die so that you could accept your pain and carry it with you for the rest of your life. He did not rescue you from a life of misery just so that you would "deal" with your heartbreak by pushing it to the back of your mind. He does not stand with open arms, able to carry the entire weight of the entire world's sin, waiting for you to come to Him, just so you can say, "Nah, it's okay. Life goes on. I'll get over it."
No, my friend, you are made for more! So much more! Your God did not design you to accept brokenness. He did not create you for a life where crack after crack forms in your heart and you simply try to ignore it and forget the pain. He shaped you so that you would be whole. He does not want you to muddle through a mediocre life, pushing yourself back up time and again thinking that's the only way life can be -- you might as well deal with it. No! Your God made you more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. You are to live victoriously. Passionately. Fully. You were not made to settle, you were made to want Jesus' best. He did not give up all so that you would settle for a life less than that!
Our God can calm a raging storm with a word. He heals the lame. He restores sight to the blind. He brings the dead to life. And He wants to take your heart, that has died one tiny piece at a time, and breathe His life into it. He desires disciples who are completely alive!
"And He who is seated on the throne said, 'See! I make all things new'" (Revelation 21:5). Come, fall at the feet of your God. Do not do it flippantly. Do not do it just for show or to make yourself feel better. Do it with a deep desire to be made completely new, completely alive. Come to be made strong, and to fall head-over-heels in love with a God who is strong to save. Come to discover victorious life in Christ. Come; worship; seek the heart of God. And as you lose yourself in His beautiful heart for you, yours will be raised to life. And life will, again, go on -- but it will go on with a strength and power that you could never have imagined.
And we nod, lift our heads, brush off the dirt, and say resignedly, "And life goes on."
And yes: life goes on. It does. The circumstances that tear us down will soon be only painful memories, and the people who hurt us will soon move out of our lives. In some ways, the recognition of this fact is admirable. There is something in it that says, "No, I will not let these things break me. I will continue to fight and live and go on, and realize that I won't always feel like this." It refuses defeat.
But at the same time, it refuses healing.
Jesus did not die so that you could accept your pain and carry it with you for the rest of your life. He did not rescue you from a life of misery just so that you would "deal" with your heartbreak by pushing it to the back of your mind. He does not stand with open arms, able to carry the entire weight of the entire world's sin, waiting for you to come to Him, just so you can say, "Nah, it's okay. Life goes on. I'll get over it."
No, my friend, you are made for more! So much more! Your God did not design you to accept brokenness. He did not create you for a life where crack after crack forms in your heart and you simply try to ignore it and forget the pain. He shaped you so that you would be whole. He does not want you to muddle through a mediocre life, pushing yourself back up time and again thinking that's the only way life can be -- you might as well deal with it. No! Your God made you more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. You are to live victoriously. Passionately. Fully. You were not made to settle, you were made to want Jesus' best. He did not give up all so that you would settle for a life less than that!
Our God can calm a raging storm with a word. He heals the lame. He restores sight to the blind. He brings the dead to life. And He wants to take your heart, that has died one tiny piece at a time, and breathe His life into it. He desires disciples who are completely alive!
"And He who is seated on the throne said, 'See! I make all things new'" (Revelation 21:5). Come, fall at the feet of your God. Do not do it flippantly. Do not do it just for show or to make yourself feel better. Do it with a deep desire to be made completely new, completely alive. Come to be made strong, and to fall head-over-heels in love with a God who is strong to save. Come to discover victorious life in Christ. Come; worship; seek the heart of God. And as you lose yourself in His beautiful heart for you, yours will be raised to life. And life will, again, go on -- but it will go on with a strength and power that you could never have imagined.
Friday, December 24, 2010
You're Beautiful
I sat down to write about how beautiful my God is. But my heart is too full for words. All I want to do is worship this amazing God. All I want to do is give Him every part of me. I can't even begin to describe all He's done for me. He quite literally turned my life around and took it in a direction I never would've imagined for myself. He's been so much more than enough. And even though I've just succeeded in writing a paragraph about how amazing He is, my words right now don't seem nearly enough for how much He's done for me.
So, I kinda want to know: What are some of your amazing God stories from the past year? How has He changed you? How has He saved you? What has He done for you, and what has He led you to do for Him? At this time of year, when we tend to take for granted that He came as a baby to live a perfect life and die for us, what is it that brings you to your knees in amazement?
And yeah, I really truly want to know. So leave a comment on this post, or on the Facebook link, or send me a message, because I want to be astounded by how He's working in your life. So then we can worship Him together.
I love each and every one of you, and I pray that you are learning to discover the glorious riches of the love of Jesus Christ.
Merry Christmas.
So, I kinda want to know: What are some of your amazing God stories from the past year? How has He changed you? How has He saved you? What has He done for you, and what has He led you to do for Him? At this time of year, when we tend to take for granted that He came as a baby to live a perfect life and die for us, what is it that brings you to your knees in amazement?
And yeah, I really truly want to know. So leave a comment on this post, or on the Facebook link, or send me a message, because I want to be astounded by how He's working in your life. So then we can worship Him together.
I love each and every one of you, and I pray that you are learning to discover the glorious riches of the love of Jesus Christ.
Merry Christmas.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Crazy Love
Bear with me for a moment, and let me tell you who you are.
You are chosen. You are designed with a purpose. Not a single feature on your face is a mistake. You're smile was specifically created just for you, though it was meant to be shared.
You were so beautifully designed that Someone fell in love with you. In fact, He fell in love with you before you were even born. He knew who you would be. He knew every mistake you would ever make. He knew every hair that would be on your head every second of every day. He knew all the times you would fall down; all the times you would reject His love; all the times you would spit in His face in unbelief; all the times you would walk away, feeling unworthy, unlovable, unforgivable; all the times you would turn your head away in sadness, unwilling to believe that He could wipe away every tear; all the times you would think someone else was more important than Him; all the times you would refuse to trust Him; all the times you would turn away from Him and never even give Him a thought.
But He fell in love with you nevertheless. And when you heard what He thought about you, that He believed you were beautiful and special, you couldn't believe it. It defied logic. It was too silly. Too ridiculous. It made no sense. This perfect One, falling in love with...you?
And then it got even more ridiculous. Seems this perfect Man actually died for you -- and not just died, but died an excruciatingly painful death. He suffered horribly. It was senseless. He'd done nothing wrong. You were the one who messed up. But He willingly stepped in and took your place, because He adored you. And the worst part was -- He could have come down at any moment. He could have called thousands of angels to His command. But He could see into the future, and see that one day, He would have a chance of winning your heart, if only He would stay, suffer, and die now. And so He stayed. He stayed, and He died.
But it did not end the day that He died. It began. And it got even more ridiculous. This perfect Man actually came back to life. He knew that one day, you would look at this amazing thing, this "death of death," and take it for granted. But He knew it would save you -- and so He did it anyway. He knew that His heart would break because of it, when you would go through days at a time without even thinking about it. But He did it anyway, because He was so in love with you.
And then He waited. He waited for the day you would be born. He was so, so excited. He had a beautiful life planned for you. It would not be easy. You would struggle. You would cry. You would face loneliness, rejection, depression, failure, loss, pain. But He was waiting to face it with you. He knew that if you would continually keep running back to His arms, all the pain you were experiencing would pale in comparison to His great, great love for you. In those moments with Him, you would forget this world, and you would remember that one day, the two of you would be perfectly, eternally together. And you would never hurt again.
But the world that He had created -- filled with beauty, because He wanted to fill your heart with the joy of a sunrise and the peace of a rainbow -- became distracting. You forgot that He was much, much more lovely than the world around you. And without Him in every day, the world started to lose its enchantment. Instead of the difficult but beautiful walk with Him that He had planned, you walked away, trying to face the problems set before you on your own. You knew He was still there, and you still talked to Him; but you did not understand the passionate relationship He wanted. And so while His words affected your decisions, His presence was not constantly felt in your daily life.
And so you began taking on things that He never wanted you to deal with on your own. The life He had designed to be so joyful, even in the face of adversity, was drudgery. The circumstances you were never meant to carry by yourself nearly overwhelmed you. The losses He wanted so desperately to help heal became aching, festering sores. Your heart wandered further and further away from Him as you wondered how Someone who had the ability to overcome death could allow these things to happen to you.
But this was not the way it was supposed to be. This was not the way it had to be. He made you more than a conqueror, if only you would claim His strength and your weakness each and every morning. If only you would give your life completely over to Him, to guide as He would. He would take you places you could never imagine. Not all of them would be "fun"; not all of them would be easy; and He might lead you even to death. But He would be there. And He would prove Himself far more than enough.
And so He continues waiting. He waits for you to run back. He waits for you to understand how overwhelming His love is for you. He waits for you to realize that He wants so much more than just a part of you, because He made all of you, and He loves it. He waits for you to remember that though the world is beautiful, it is fleeting, but He will always be there. He waits for you to accept His pursuit, to fall into His arms, to give Him everything that you've been carrying.
And as soon as you do, He holds you close and weeps over you. He rejoices over you as though you are the only one in the world. He heals your shattered heart. He dries your tears and does everything He can just to see you smile again. He picks up the weight that was meant to fall on His back all along. He gives you a reason to get up in the morning. He reminds you that you are His, and that though you may have left Him, though you may have tried to live without Him for a time, He never left your side. He was there, pursuing, loving, waiting. And He is so happy you came back, He will spend the rest of eternity quieting you with His love and rejoicing over you with singing. He is so excited to help you discover the life He had planned for you from the beginning of time; the life that was in His mind when He was dying; the life He loves.
Your past does not matter. Your future rests in His hands. And right here, right now, you are crazily loved.
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
You are chosen. You are designed with a purpose. Not a single feature on your face is a mistake. You're smile was specifically created just for you, though it was meant to be shared.
You were so beautifully designed that Someone fell in love with you. In fact, He fell in love with you before you were even born. He knew who you would be. He knew every mistake you would ever make. He knew every hair that would be on your head every second of every day. He knew all the times you would fall down; all the times you would reject His love; all the times you would spit in His face in unbelief; all the times you would walk away, feeling unworthy, unlovable, unforgivable; all the times you would turn your head away in sadness, unwilling to believe that He could wipe away every tear; all the times you would think someone else was more important than Him; all the times you would refuse to trust Him; all the times you would turn away from Him and never even give Him a thought.
But He fell in love with you nevertheless. And when you heard what He thought about you, that He believed you were beautiful and special, you couldn't believe it. It defied logic. It was too silly. Too ridiculous. It made no sense. This perfect One, falling in love with...you?
And then it got even more ridiculous. Seems this perfect Man actually died for you -- and not just died, but died an excruciatingly painful death. He suffered horribly. It was senseless. He'd done nothing wrong. You were the one who messed up. But He willingly stepped in and took your place, because He adored you. And the worst part was -- He could have come down at any moment. He could have called thousands of angels to His command. But He could see into the future, and see that one day, He would have a chance of winning your heart, if only He would stay, suffer, and die now. And so He stayed. He stayed, and He died.
But it did not end the day that He died. It began. And it got even more ridiculous. This perfect Man actually came back to life. He knew that one day, you would look at this amazing thing, this "death of death," and take it for granted. But He knew it would save you -- and so He did it anyway. He knew that His heart would break because of it, when you would go through days at a time without even thinking about it. But He did it anyway, because He was so in love with you.
And then He waited. He waited for the day you would be born. He was so, so excited. He had a beautiful life planned for you. It would not be easy. You would struggle. You would cry. You would face loneliness, rejection, depression, failure, loss, pain. But He was waiting to face it with you. He knew that if you would continually keep running back to His arms, all the pain you were experiencing would pale in comparison to His great, great love for you. In those moments with Him, you would forget this world, and you would remember that one day, the two of you would be perfectly, eternally together. And you would never hurt again.
But the world that He had created -- filled with beauty, because He wanted to fill your heart with the joy of a sunrise and the peace of a rainbow -- became distracting. You forgot that He was much, much more lovely than the world around you. And without Him in every day, the world started to lose its enchantment. Instead of the difficult but beautiful walk with Him that He had planned, you walked away, trying to face the problems set before you on your own. You knew He was still there, and you still talked to Him; but you did not understand the passionate relationship He wanted. And so while His words affected your decisions, His presence was not constantly felt in your daily life.
And so you began taking on things that He never wanted you to deal with on your own. The life He had designed to be so joyful, even in the face of adversity, was drudgery. The circumstances you were never meant to carry by yourself nearly overwhelmed you. The losses He wanted so desperately to help heal became aching, festering sores. Your heart wandered further and further away from Him as you wondered how Someone who had the ability to overcome death could allow these things to happen to you.
But this was not the way it was supposed to be. This was not the way it had to be. He made you more than a conqueror, if only you would claim His strength and your weakness each and every morning. If only you would give your life completely over to Him, to guide as He would. He would take you places you could never imagine. Not all of them would be "fun"; not all of them would be easy; and He might lead you even to death. But He would be there. And He would prove Himself far more than enough.
And so He continues waiting. He waits for you to run back. He waits for you to understand how overwhelming His love is for you. He waits for you to realize that He wants so much more than just a part of you, because He made all of you, and He loves it. He waits for you to remember that though the world is beautiful, it is fleeting, but He will always be there. He waits for you to accept His pursuit, to fall into His arms, to give Him everything that you've been carrying.
And as soon as you do, He holds you close and weeps over you. He rejoices over you as though you are the only one in the world. He heals your shattered heart. He dries your tears and does everything He can just to see you smile again. He picks up the weight that was meant to fall on His back all along. He gives you a reason to get up in the morning. He reminds you that you are His, and that though you may have left Him, though you may have tried to live without Him for a time, He never left your side. He was there, pursuing, loving, waiting. And He is so happy you came back, He will spend the rest of eternity quieting you with His love and rejoicing over you with singing. He is so excited to help you discover the life He had planned for you from the beginning of time; the life that was in His mind when He was dying; the life He loves.
Your past does not matter. Your future rests in His hands. And right here, right now, you are crazily loved.
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Only Me When I'm With You
Why are you looking for love? Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?
About a week into my first "relationship," I attended a birthday party. The people at this birthday party were dear friends, people who bring out the best in me, people I absolutely love. Two weeks previously, I would have had the time of my life at this party. But I sat around and moped until I felt sick -- all because the all-important him was not there. It was a Saturday. I would see him again on Monday. Yes. A grand total of two days apart. How dreadful.
I think that's pretty ridiculous, sad, immature, and silly... And no, I don't have any qualms about calling myself that. Because that's what I was. I was the definition of teen angst, of the "ridiculous" that Jane Austen so often mocks, and of one of the greatest problems with dating relationships today.
Two individuals, while they are single, can be just that -- individual and single. They know precisely who they are. They have particular friendships, beliefs, activities, etc. And then these two individuals meet, fall in "like," and *POOF!* There goes individual identity. Suddenly they have no idea who they are when the other person isn't with them. (Even worse, there are the scenarios in which somebody never understands who he or she is as an individual, and is constantly looking to another person to give them identity.)
I understand completely why parties -- especially parties with most of the people I know -- would be very depressing if you didn't have your boyfriend or girlfriend with you. I'm not condemning missing someone. I'm condemning a much bigger problem. Obviously, God created us to enjoy each other's company, and it's perfectly natural to feel a little down when we miss out on the company of someone we love. But we cannot get to the point where it is nigh impossible to have fun without that person at our side -- so long as that person is, well, a person.
Psalm 16:11 declares, "You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever." This verse is incredibly clear: God's presence brings about full, complete joy. It's not, "There is fullness of joy as long as I have God and my boyfriend." No. It's just God. Just His presence.
I am fully convinced that if we truly allow God to write our love story, He will not give us that love story until we don't need it anymore. He will not allow us to give our hearts away to someone else until they are completely in His hands. He will not allow us to glorify Him hand-in-hand with a husband or wife until we have learned to glorify Him on our own. Until we have come to a point of being completely willing -- even delighted -- to be single, He will not purposely distract us from pursuing Him more by beginning to write our love story right then and there.
Until we've fallen head over heels in love with Jesus, we should not fall in love with anyone else. Because let's face it -- they won't always be there. They won't be able to satisfy every single desire we have. They will mess up and disappoint us. But Jesus Christ will always be there. He can satisfy our every need. He will never mess up. We cannot love people properly; we cannot have reasonable expectations of someone else, until all of our needs have been met by God.
Because at the end of all things, we should know exactly who we are without our boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife, because they might one day be demanded of us. But we should not know who we are without Jesus Christ. A day without Him should be impossible. Living apart from Him for even a single breath should break our hearts.
Is Jesus enough to satisfy, even if our earthly desires are never met? He says He is. And it all comes down to trusting that He is, and allowing Him to strip away everything until we are completely satisfied by Him and Him alone. Only when our love story with Him is complete can He give us an earthly love story. And I promise, it will be so, so much more beautiful.
About a week into my first "relationship," I attended a birthday party. The people at this birthday party were dear friends, people who bring out the best in me, people I absolutely love. Two weeks previously, I would have had the time of my life at this party. But I sat around and moped until I felt sick -- all because the all-important him was not there. It was a Saturday. I would see him again on Monday. Yes. A grand total of two days apart. How dreadful.
I think that's pretty ridiculous, sad, immature, and silly... And no, I don't have any qualms about calling myself that. Because that's what I was. I was the definition of teen angst, of the "ridiculous" that Jane Austen so often mocks, and of one of the greatest problems with dating relationships today.
Two individuals, while they are single, can be just that -- individual and single. They know precisely who they are. They have particular friendships, beliefs, activities, etc. And then these two individuals meet, fall in "like," and *POOF!* There goes individual identity. Suddenly they have no idea who they are when the other person isn't with them. (Even worse, there are the scenarios in which somebody never understands who he or she is as an individual, and is constantly looking to another person to give them identity.)
I understand completely why parties -- especially parties with most of the people I know -- would be very depressing if you didn't have your boyfriend or girlfriend with you. I'm not condemning missing someone. I'm condemning a much bigger problem. Obviously, God created us to enjoy each other's company, and it's perfectly natural to feel a little down when we miss out on the company of someone we love. But we cannot get to the point where it is nigh impossible to have fun without that person at our side -- so long as that person is, well, a person.
Psalm 16:11 declares, "You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever." This verse is incredibly clear: God's presence brings about full, complete joy. It's not, "There is fullness of joy as long as I have God and my boyfriend." No. It's just God. Just His presence.
I am fully convinced that if we truly allow God to write our love story, He will not give us that love story until we don't need it anymore. He will not allow us to give our hearts away to someone else until they are completely in His hands. He will not allow us to glorify Him hand-in-hand with a husband or wife until we have learned to glorify Him on our own. Until we have come to a point of being completely willing -- even delighted -- to be single, He will not purposely distract us from pursuing Him more by beginning to write our love story right then and there.
Until we've fallen head over heels in love with Jesus, we should not fall in love with anyone else. Because let's face it -- they won't always be there. They won't be able to satisfy every single desire we have. They will mess up and disappoint us. But Jesus Christ will always be there. He can satisfy our every need. He will never mess up. We cannot love people properly; we cannot have reasonable expectations of someone else, until all of our needs have been met by God.
Because at the end of all things, we should know exactly who we are without our boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife, because they might one day be demanded of us. But we should not know who we are without Jesus Christ. A day without Him should be impossible. Living apart from Him for even a single breath should break our hearts.
Is Jesus enough to satisfy, even if our earthly desires are never met? He says He is. And it all comes down to trusting that He is, and allowing Him to strip away everything until we are completely satisfied by Him and Him alone. Only when our love story with Him is complete can He give us an earthly love story. And I promise, it will be so, so much more beautiful.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Overflow 101
Allow me to tell you a little something about overflow.
You have to be full before you can overflow.
In fact, you have to be full to, well, overflowing.
Makes sense, huh?
I know so many people -- including myself -- who want to be "a blessing." And I love that. I think it's wonderful. It's beautiful, and it's Christlike. But please hear this:
You cannot be a blessing if you are not full to overflowing with Jesus Christ.
So often, we try to give and give and give of our own strength. And very soon, we're exhausted. We have nothing left to give, and now we're neither a blessing, nor happy. We're just done.
But if we take all of that love that we try to give to other people, and give it to God instead -- He fills. And fills. And fills. And keeps filling, until we spill over continually.
That's when we become blessings. Our storehouses cannot be emptied, not in a thousand years. Our hearts cannot cease to spill over with the love of Christ, for His love never ends. For example, I do not sit in front of my computer and think, "What would be something inspiring to post as my status?" On the contrary, Jesus Christ astounds me and inspires me, and my natural response is to praise His greatness. I'm not inspirational. My Lord is.
Many people say, "You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of other people." And to a certain extent, I accept that. You have to be bubbling over with Jesus-love before you can give lasting, meaningful Jesus-love to other people. But once you're overflowing, then I say never look at yourself again. You can be so satisfied in Jesus Christ that you won't need to look at yourself.
But if all of a sudden you realize that you've taken your eyes off Jesus and have started trying to give from your own resources, take a step back and refocus your gaze. Don't try to give your own love; Jesus is the only one worthy of every ounce of all you have to offer.
You have to be full before you can overflow.
In fact, you have to be full to, well, overflowing.
Makes sense, huh?
I know so many people -- including myself -- who want to be "a blessing." And I love that. I think it's wonderful. It's beautiful, and it's Christlike. But please hear this:
You cannot be a blessing if you are not full to overflowing with Jesus Christ.
So often, we try to give and give and give of our own strength. And very soon, we're exhausted. We have nothing left to give, and now we're neither a blessing, nor happy. We're just done.
But if we take all of that love that we try to give to other people, and give it to God instead -- He fills. And fills. And fills. And keeps filling, until we spill over continually.
That's when we become blessings. Our storehouses cannot be emptied, not in a thousand years. Our hearts cannot cease to spill over with the love of Christ, for His love never ends. For example, I do not sit in front of my computer and think, "What would be something inspiring to post as my status?" On the contrary, Jesus Christ astounds me and inspires me, and my natural response is to praise His greatness. I'm not inspirational. My Lord is.
Many people say, "You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of other people." And to a certain extent, I accept that. You have to be bubbling over with Jesus-love before you can give lasting, meaningful Jesus-love to other people. But once you're overflowing, then I say never look at yourself again. You can be so satisfied in Jesus Christ that you won't need to look at yourself.
But if all of a sudden you realize that you've taken your eyes off Jesus and have started trying to give from your own resources, take a step back and refocus your gaze. Don't try to give your own love; Jesus is the only one worthy of every ounce of all you have to offer.
Monday, October 11, 2010
The Elephant Bag
I Googled the word "stress" to try and find an awesome "I'm-going-out-of-my-mind-because-I-have-so-much-to-do" definition. I only found one: "a state of mental or emotional strain or suspense." The rest went something like this: "to stress, single out as important; special emphasis attached to something; a melodic rock band formed in San Diego in 1983."
By the world's standards, I should be stressed. All-State Choir auditions, Nurse Aide certification testing, driver's test (after I've already failed once), grades in some areas dropping for no apparent reason, Nietzsche, an annoying stomach and my omnipresent perfectionism should not a happy Senior Year make.
Usually.
But while I do freak out a lot; while I will occasionally walk down the hall making high-pitched buzzing noises to dispel anxiety; while I do have to have a weekly cry-fest so that all my emotions don't explode later on; I'm quite happy. I don't feel stressed. Those reactions are usually spur of the moment before I've had time to do that very important thing that helps me remove stress and put it on God (in Google's terms, "single Him out as important"). Doing this thing is very relieving. It helps me slow down, put into words exactly what I'm feeling, and let it go.
I go to the Elephant Bag.
The Elephant Bag is a little pastel-colored baby gift bag that sits on my desk. It's medium sized, lined with colorful tissue paper, and has a stack of sticky-notes and a pen sitting next to it. Inside the elephant bag are dozens of folded up blue sticky notes. I don't reach back inside that bag. What goes in there, stays in there. (Until it gets full. I haven't quite decided what to do when that happens.)
Whenever something in my life goes horribly wrong; whenever things don't go my way; whenever I'm asked to give something up; whenever I'm anxious about something; I write down the date on a blue sticky note, write something to the effect of "this is what's going on; I give it to You," fold it up, and put it in the Elephant Bag. That bag is for Jesus. It has many declarations of the surrender of many parts of my life.
Simply writing it down doesn't do much. And I'm not saying that all my problems have been solved by a pastel gift bag with a baby elephant on it. But writing those things down, and handing them over, usually leads me to a time of sitting quietly before my God and really letting Him fill up the empty parts of my life.
I'm not always good at "leaving things" in the Elephant Bag. While the sticky notes stay there, the things I've surrendered don't always stay in Jesus hands. (This is perfectly evidenced by the multiple sticky notes proclaiming, "Jesus, I give you [insert name of person here]" that have gone in there probably at least once a week...) But the more we practice surrender, the better we get at it -- because we learn to be filled with Someone better.
"Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you." He means that. He wants us to take everything that causes us distress, anxiety, stress, and throw it onto His shoulders. Then our arms are free to reach up to Him in a silent plea of, "Daddy, let me hug You."
Maybe an elephant bag won't work for you. But I know casting your cares will. Discover the way you need to meet with God in order to give Him all your troubles. He loves you. He wants to hear about it. And He wants to take care of it. But first, you have to hand it over. Put it in your Elephant Bag; and leave it there.
[Note: This is not an original idea. It was taken from the novel "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers, in which one of the characters uses a hatbox to collect all her prayers. I personally think an elephant bag is cuter than a hat box. But that might just be me.]
By the world's standards, I should be stressed. All-State Choir auditions, Nurse Aide certification testing, driver's test (after I've already failed once), grades in some areas dropping for no apparent reason, Nietzsche, an annoying stomach and my omnipresent perfectionism should not a happy Senior Year make.
Usually.
But while I do freak out a lot; while I will occasionally walk down the hall making high-pitched buzzing noises to dispel anxiety; while I do have to have a weekly cry-fest so that all my emotions don't explode later on; I'm quite happy. I don't feel stressed. Those reactions are usually spur of the moment before I've had time to do that very important thing that helps me remove stress and put it on God (in Google's terms, "single Him out as important"). Doing this thing is very relieving. It helps me slow down, put into words exactly what I'm feeling, and let it go.
I go to the Elephant Bag.
The Elephant Bag is a little pastel-colored baby gift bag that sits on my desk. It's medium sized, lined with colorful tissue paper, and has a stack of sticky-notes and a pen sitting next to it. Inside the elephant bag are dozens of folded up blue sticky notes. I don't reach back inside that bag. What goes in there, stays in there. (Until it gets full. I haven't quite decided what to do when that happens.)
Whenever something in my life goes horribly wrong; whenever things don't go my way; whenever I'm asked to give something up; whenever I'm anxious about something; I write down the date on a blue sticky note, write something to the effect of "this is what's going on; I give it to You," fold it up, and put it in the Elephant Bag. That bag is for Jesus. It has many declarations of the surrender of many parts of my life.
Simply writing it down doesn't do much. And I'm not saying that all my problems have been solved by a pastel gift bag with a baby elephant on it. But writing those things down, and handing them over, usually leads me to a time of sitting quietly before my God and really letting Him fill up the empty parts of my life.
I'm not always good at "leaving things" in the Elephant Bag. While the sticky notes stay there, the things I've surrendered don't always stay in Jesus hands. (This is perfectly evidenced by the multiple sticky notes proclaiming, "Jesus, I give you [insert name of person here]" that have gone in there probably at least once a week...) But the more we practice surrender, the better we get at it -- because we learn to be filled with Someone better.
"Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you." He means that. He wants us to take everything that causes us distress, anxiety, stress, and throw it onto His shoulders. Then our arms are free to reach up to Him in a silent plea of, "Daddy, let me hug You."
Maybe an elephant bag won't work for you. But I know casting your cares will. Discover the way you need to meet with God in order to give Him all your troubles. He loves you. He wants to hear about it. And He wants to take care of it. But first, you have to hand it over. Put it in your Elephant Bag; and leave it there.
[Note: This is not an original idea. It was taken from the novel "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers, in which one of the characters uses a hatbox to collect all her prayers. I personally think an elephant bag is cuter than a hat box. But that might just be me.]
Sunday, October 3, 2010
A Dance With Jesus
Last night was my high school's Homecoming dance. It was an emotionally exhausting evening in many ways; but I loved it. And I'm about to tell you one of the reasons.
I don't usually worry about whether or not I'm asked to dance. I dance some, I sit others out, others I dance with my friends, but it typically all averages out nicely. However, at one point last night, I was aching for a dance. So I sat down and danced with Jesus.
Sound like an oxymoron? So is Jesus' love. I sat on a bench, accepted Jesus' gentle invitation to take His hand, and waltzed through the other couples -- all while never leaving my seat. As my eyes rested on the people on the dance floor -- some I know well and love, others I've only just met -- I talked to Jesus about them. I prayed for them as individuals; for them in relation to me, in relation to the person they were dancing with, and in relation to Jesus. For some, I prayed renewed passion. I prayed peace over others. I prayed truth over the lies being spoken to some. There were those I simply praised Him for. Others, I just said, "Jesus, I have no idea what to pray for that person or even what their name is, but please work in them!"
I cried quite a few times last night for various reasons. Most of the time, people assumed there was something wrong. And most of the time, there was. I was selfishly crying for myself. But there was one point during the night when my tears were justified; and that was during my dance with Jesus. I wept for others. He stepped in and broke my heart for the things that break His. He stepped in and reminded me, "This is not about you. This is about Me. I'm holding your heart; now pray for those who haven't yet learned to give Me the pieces." And then He gently added, "And never forget that I love dancing with you, because you are so, so precious to Me."
So this is to tell all of you beautiful girls (and handsome guys) that when there's no one to dance with, Jesus steps out and says, "I want your entire life to be a dance with Me; but let's just start with this song." Your dance with Jesus may look entirely different from mine. Maybe He'll take that entire time to remind you how absolutely beautiful you are. Maybe there will be one specific person you need to talk about while dancing. Maybe it's time to close your eyes, and trust Him to lead you. Whatever it is, He'll wait there with outstretched hands.
And so the phrase, "Dance with God; He'll let the perfect man cut in" can come true; very, very literally. =)
I don't usually worry about whether or not I'm asked to dance. I dance some, I sit others out, others I dance with my friends, but it typically all averages out nicely. However, at one point last night, I was aching for a dance. So I sat down and danced with Jesus.
Sound like an oxymoron? So is Jesus' love. I sat on a bench, accepted Jesus' gentle invitation to take His hand, and waltzed through the other couples -- all while never leaving my seat. As my eyes rested on the people on the dance floor -- some I know well and love, others I've only just met -- I talked to Jesus about them. I prayed for them as individuals; for them in relation to me, in relation to the person they were dancing with, and in relation to Jesus. For some, I prayed renewed passion. I prayed peace over others. I prayed truth over the lies being spoken to some. There were those I simply praised Him for. Others, I just said, "Jesus, I have no idea what to pray for that person or even what their name is, but please work in them!"
I cried quite a few times last night for various reasons. Most of the time, people assumed there was something wrong. And most of the time, there was. I was selfishly crying for myself. But there was one point during the night when my tears were justified; and that was during my dance with Jesus. I wept for others. He stepped in and broke my heart for the things that break His. He stepped in and reminded me, "This is not about you. This is about Me. I'm holding your heart; now pray for those who haven't yet learned to give Me the pieces." And then He gently added, "And never forget that I love dancing with you, because you are so, so precious to Me."
So this is to tell all of you beautiful girls (and handsome guys) that when there's no one to dance with, Jesus steps out and says, "I want your entire life to be a dance with Me; but let's just start with this song." Your dance with Jesus may look entirely different from mine. Maybe He'll take that entire time to remind you how absolutely beautiful you are. Maybe there will be one specific person you need to talk about while dancing. Maybe it's time to close your eyes, and trust Him to lead you. Whatever it is, He'll wait there with outstretched hands.
And so the phrase, "Dance with God; He'll let the perfect man cut in" can come true; very, very literally. =)
Saturday, October 2, 2010
To Save A Life
You cannot save a life.
Now, there is the very literal running in and diving in front of a bullet before it hits someone else kind of saving a life, but that's not what I'm talking about.
You cannot save a life.
In the under-read and under-appreciated book of Ezekiel, the Lord leads Ezekiel into a valley of dry bones and asks him, "Son of man, can these bones live?"
What does Ezekiel say? Does he hop around, waving his hand in the air shouting, "Pick me! Pick me!"
"Yes, Ezekiel."
Ezekiel clears his throat and says importantly, "Yes, and I'm going to be the one to bring them back to life!"
No. That's not what Ezekiel says. He looks around at this valley of dry bones, shakes his head, and says humbly, "O Sovereign Lord, You alone know."
After Ezekiel admits that only God knows whether this is possible -- then the Lord uses him. He says, "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, 'Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.'"
Notice something about that last passage. Who's doing the talking? Ezekiel is the one speaking to the bones...but it's God who's putting the words in his mouth. It's God who's fulfilling what He is commanding Ezekiel to prophesy. It's God who's bringing the dead back to life. Ezekiel's only response is, "So I prophesied as I was commanded."
What we need to realize is that we are the hands and feet of Christ. We are the mouthpieces. We are the hugs, the tissue-providers, the audible encouragers, the back-rubbers, the loving note writers. We are, in a sense, the prophets of Jesus Christ. But we are not Jesus Christ. All the hugs and tissues and loving notes in the world are not going to change someone. They're not going to save a life. Jesus Christ working through you is.
Does this mean we should pack up our bags and never try to change someone's life again? Absolutely not. We are to do as Ezekiel did and be able to say, "So I prophesied as I was commanded." Just as you cannot save a life without Jesus working through you, Jesus desires a vessel through which to work.
This should not be a distressing thought, that you are incapable of saving a life. It's out of your hands. It is up to God, and in His hands, this person you care so much about is entirely, completely, wonderfully safe. Do not refuse the call to be the hands and feet; but also do not believe that you, on your own, are solely responsible for redeeming a soul. Follow in the footsteps of Ezekiel, who said, "The hand of the Lord was upon me"; and only then were lives changed and the dead brought back to life.
Now, there is the very literal running in and diving in front of a bullet before it hits someone else kind of saving a life, but that's not what I'm talking about.
You cannot save a life.
In the under-read and under-appreciated book of Ezekiel, the Lord leads Ezekiel into a valley of dry bones and asks him, "Son of man, can these bones live?"
What does Ezekiel say? Does he hop around, waving his hand in the air shouting, "Pick me! Pick me!"
"Yes, Ezekiel."
Ezekiel clears his throat and says importantly, "Yes, and I'm going to be the one to bring them back to life!"
No. That's not what Ezekiel says. He looks around at this valley of dry bones, shakes his head, and says humbly, "O Sovereign Lord, You alone know."
After Ezekiel admits that only God knows whether this is possible -- then the Lord uses him. He says, "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, 'Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.'"
Notice something about that last passage. Who's doing the talking? Ezekiel is the one speaking to the bones...but it's God who's putting the words in his mouth. It's God who's fulfilling what He is commanding Ezekiel to prophesy. It's God who's bringing the dead back to life. Ezekiel's only response is, "So I prophesied as I was commanded."
What we need to realize is that we are the hands and feet of Christ. We are the mouthpieces. We are the hugs, the tissue-providers, the audible encouragers, the back-rubbers, the loving note writers. We are, in a sense, the prophets of Jesus Christ. But we are not Jesus Christ. All the hugs and tissues and loving notes in the world are not going to change someone. They're not going to save a life. Jesus Christ working through you is.
Does this mean we should pack up our bags and never try to change someone's life again? Absolutely not. We are to do as Ezekiel did and be able to say, "So I prophesied as I was commanded." Just as you cannot save a life without Jesus working through you, Jesus desires a vessel through which to work.
This should not be a distressing thought, that you are incapable of saving a life. It's out of your hands. It is up to God, and in His hands, this person you care so much about is entirely, completely, wonderfully safe. Do not refuse the call to be the hands and feet; but also do not believe that you, on your own, are solely responsible for redeeming a soul. Follow in the footsteps of Ezekiel, who said, "The hand of the Lord was upon me"; and only then were lives changed and the dead brought back to life.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Fireflies
"Jesus Christ did not say, 'Go into all the world and tell the world that it is quite right.'" ~C.S. Lewis
The call to abandon all, to become a "nobody," and to die to self is not a very popular call these days. We'd rather keep all those things we love. We'd rather be a "somebody." We'd rather have our own desires.
We'd rather have this world than Jesus.
Let me tell you about a time in my life when I had to give up two very important things/people that Jesus called me to put on the altar...
Actually, I can't, because this story doesn't just involve me. But let me see if I can put it in the abstract for you.
Jesus said, "Any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be My disciple" (Luke 14:33). But oh, I say, Jesus, isn't that a little harsh? I mean, I'll give You some of this stuff in my life. But everything? I don't even think I know about everything that's in my life!
But that's what He said. He also said, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters -- yes, even his own life -- he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26).
Oh! I protest. That doesn't sound like Jesus at all! Didn't He say we should love each other? Ah-ha! Jesus is wrong! This means I don't have to do that...right?
Wrong. Of course, He did not mean that we should all start yelling at each other and despising the people He's put in our lives. But in comparison to our love for Him, our love for the things of this world should look like hate. There should be a huge difference between our love for Him and our love for the blessings He pours over us. Think about it like the difference between the love you have for ice cream, and the love a husband and wife have for each other. Hopefully, there's quite a contrast there.
The things we are given in this world can oftentimes be good! Friendships, goals, dreams, relationships. But God did not ask Abraham to put a despised son on the altar; He requested "your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love." He asks that even our good desires; our good dreams; our good relationships; be offered on the altar. He asks for a declaration that He is more important; that if something else is claiming our attention above Him, we give it up immediately.
The problem is, when we put things on the altar, we oftentimes expect to get them back. "I'll give You my hope of a love story, and then You can give it back. Deal? Deal." And I've put a lot of friendships and dreams on the altar that He has, indeed, been faithful to refine and then restore. But there are other things I put on the altar that I am never given back. Things, people, dreams, that I love, and that are good; but are consuming too much of my life. They are lovers that are taking the place of my First Love, and He gently asks me to give them up without ever expecting to get them back.
But in all honesty, though these are the most painful sacrifices, they can also be some of the most beautiful. The larger the offering loomed in our heart, the larger the hole when it is gone; and the more of God we receive in return. When He takes away, He will never leave you empty. He will fill you with Himself, if you will just ask and seek.
You may live your entire life a Christian without ever truly experiencing Christ. And you can stay that way. You can remain complacent, as a Christian but never a disciple. But if you would experience the fullness of joy in God's presence, go; sell all you have; and follow Him. He will not disappoint.
(Oh, and what in the world does the title have to do with this post, you may ask? Some of you already know. The rest of you probably don't need to.)
The call to abandon all, to become a "nobody," and to die to self is not a very popular call these days. We'd rather keep all those things we love. We'd rather be a "somebody." We'd rather have our own desires.
We'd rather have this world than Jesus.
Let me tell you about a time in my life when I had to give up two very important things/people that Jesus called me to put on the altar...
Actually, I can't, because this story doesn't just involve me. But let me see if I can put it in the abstract for you.
Jesus said, "Any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be My disciple" (Luke 14:33). But oh, I say, Jesus, isn't that a little harsh? I mean, I'll give You some of this stuff in my life. But everything? I don't even think I know about everything that's in my life!
But that's what He said. He also said, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters -- yes, even his own life -- he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26).
Oh! I protest. That doesn't sound like Jesus at all! Didn't He say we should love each other? Ah-ha! Jesus is wrong! This means I don't have to do that...right?
Wrong. Of course, He did not mean that we should all start yelling at each other and despising the people He's put in our lives. But in comparison to our love for Him, our love for the things of this world should look like hate. There should be a huge difference between our love for Him and our love for the blessings He pours over us. Think about it like the difference between the love you have for ice cream, and the love a husband and wife have for each other. Hopefully, there's quite a contrast there.
The things we are given in this world can oftentimes be good! Friendships, goals, dreams, relationships. But God did not ask Abraham to put a despised son on the altar; He requested "your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love." He asks that even our good desires; our good dreams; our good relationships; be offered on the altar. He asks for a declaration that He is more important; that if something else is claiming our attention above Him, we give it up immediately.
The problem is, when we put things on the altar, we oftentimes expect to get them back. "I'll give You my hope of a love story, and then You can give it back. Deal? Deal." And I've put a lot of friendships and dreams on the altar that He has, indeed, been faithful to refine and then restore. But there are other things I put on the altar that I am never given back. Things, people, dreams, that I love, and that are good; but are consuming too much of my life. They are lovers that are taking the place of my First Love, and He gently asks me to give them up without ever expecting to get them back.
But in all honesty, though these are the most painful sacrifices, they can also be some of the most beautiful. The larger the offering loomed in our heart, the larger the hole when it is gone; and the more of God we receive in return. When He takes away, He will never leave you empty. He will fill you with Himself, if you will just ask and seek.
You may live your entire life a Christian without ever truly experiencing Christ. And you can stay that way. You can remain complacent, as a Christian but never a disciple. But if you would experience the fullness of joy in God's presence, go; sell all you have; and follow Him. He will not disappoint.
(Oh, and what in the world does the title have to do with this post, you may ask? Some of you already know. The rest of you probably don't need to.)
Saturday, September 11, 2010
As the Deer
I had a hard week. Everything that God has taught me this summer, all the ways He's satisfied me, have been tested. Is He really enough? Do you really think He wants the best for you? Is this truly what He's asking of you? Doesn't He want you to have fun?
So, I'm kinda writing this post with nothing to say as of beginning it. I just need -- I need -- to write about my great God and remind myself of who He is, of what He's done, of His mighty ability to save.
"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God," writes the Psalmist. A nice concept. But I don't always pant for God. I pant for God, and something else. Then it becomes panting for something else, and God. And then, God is just in the background, a pretty little idea I once new, and the something else has become my primary desire.
Here's the funny thing, though: Panting after God satisfies. Asking Him to fill results in fulfillment. Panting after something else -- well, that just leads to more panting. And pretty soon our tongue gets dry and swallowing becomes uncomfortable...
Anywho. I know, from personal experience, that my God satisfies. Every time. And I also know that the other things I pant after might satisfy temporarily, but eventually leave me longing for something greater.
Here's the other funny thing. When we long for God, and He satisfies us, we still long for more. We are satisfied -- and yet we desire to be satisfied ever more deeply. The more He fills us, and the more we beg for more, the deeper His love and grace in our life penetrates.
Scripture calls God a "God who knows." He knows where you've been, He knows where you are, but what He actually cares about is whether or not you believe that He's by your side. I know He's by my side. I may not always see it, but whose fault is that? I know it's not His; He's still there. Will you dare to believe that He's still there, that He still aches to fill you, and that He will satisfy you more and more?
Well, this accomplished my goal... I love Jesus! So much! And He loves you!
So, I'm kinda writing this post with nothing to say as of beginning it. I just need -- I need -- to write about my great God and remind myself of who He is, of what He's done, of His mighty ability to save.
"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God," writes the Psalmist. A nice concept. But I don't always pant for God. I pant for God, and something else. Then it becomes panting for something else, and God. And then, God is just in the background, a pretty little idea I once new, and the something else has become my primary desire.
Here's the funny thing, though: Panting after God satisfies. Asking Him to fill results in fulfillment. Panting after something else -- well, that just leads to more panting. And pretty soon our tongue gets dry and swallowing becomes uncomfortable...
Anywho. I know, from personal experience, that my God satisfies. Every time. And I also know that the other things I pant after might satisfy temporarily, but eventually leave me longing for something greater.
Here's the other funny thing. When we long for God, and He satisfies us, we still long for more. We are satisfied -- and yet we desire to be satisfied ever more deeply. The more He fills us, and the more we beg for more, the deeper His love and grace in our life penetrates.
Scripture calls God a "God who knows." He knows where you've been, He knows where you are, but what He actually cares about is whether or not you believe that He's by your side. I know He's by my side. I may not always see it, but whose fault is that? I know it's not His; He's still there. Will you dare to believe that He's still there, that He still aches to fill you, and that He will satisfy you more and more?
Well, this accomplished my goal... I love Jesus! So much! And He loves you!
Monday, September 6, 2010
My Lover, My Friend
You are reading the musings of a die-hard romantic. I am positively in love with love. Romance is the key ingredient of any story. If you had asked me about two months ago if I was called to be single, I would have laughed in your face, then gone home and thought about how ridiculous you were to assume that God would plan something like that for me. In my opinion, singleness was just not an option for my life. I love love too much.
Loving love has gotten me into some trouble...but that's not my point here. My point is to tell you about the ultimate Lover, the One who satisfies even when hope of an earthly romance fades away.
After obeying God's call to give up any semblance of romance in my life that was coming from a source other than Him, I thought for a long time that it was unfair. Most of my other friends had no moral problem with dating. I tried to convince myself that I had gone overboard. I had misunderstood God's call, that was all. After all, He wants me to be happy, doesn't He? But I couldn't escape the whisper upon my heart, Beloved, this is not what I have for you right now. Come close and let Me show you what I want for this season of your life.
"But God," I pleaded, "What You want's not what I want."
That's exactly My point, Beloved. Let Me give you My dreams. Let Me shape your desires. Let Me turn your world upside down.
Along this journey, I encountered some beautiful treasures in Scripture. I spent a lot of time in Hosea and Song of Songs, and discovered the nature of my Lover. Song of Songs 5:16 declares, "His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem." This was the part of Himself that God wanted to reveal to me. This was the thing I had been missing, the thing He called me away to discover.
This is not an easy journey. It's not quite the definition of "fun." God will often call us away from the things that are distracting us, as He did for me. He will almost always call us to give up something so that He can prove that He is more than enough to fill. But the love that we discover is well worth it. The Beloved of Song of Songs describes it: "Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its ardor unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away."
We must be willing to surrender, and give up whatever it is that keeps us from discovering the true nature of our God. For me, it was romance and all my hopes and dreams of ever marrying. God had a heyday with that one. I don't know what it is in your life; but are you willing to be stripped down, to give up everything you know so that you can discover the joy that Jesus wants to show you?
Hosea 2:14 says, "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." Before He can win us, before He can capture our hearts, He must lead us out into the desert. He must take us through the wasteland before we will be able to see the beauty of what waits on the other side. Take His hand, walk into the desert with Him, and there give Him everything. He will become your Lover; He will become your Friend. Pour out everything at His feet, and He will fill you beyond what you ever thought possible.
Loving love has gotten me into some trouble...but that's not my point here. My point is to tell you about the ultimate Lover, the One who satisfies even when hope of an earthly romance fades away.
After obeying God's call to give up any semblance of romance in my life that was coming from a source other than Him, I thought for a long time that it was unfair. Most of my other friends had no moral problem with dating. I tried to convince myself that I had gone overboard. I had misunderstood God's call, that was all. After all, He wants me to be happy, doesn't He? But I couldn't escape the whisper upon my heart, Beloved, this is not what I have for you right now. Come close and let Me show you what I want for this season of your life.
"But God," I pleaded, "What You want's not what I want."
That's exactly My point, Beloved. Let Me give you My dreams. Let Me shape your desires. Let Me turn your world upside down.
Along this journey, I encountered some beautiful treasures in Scripture. I spent a lot of time in Hosea and Song of Songs, and discovered the nature of my Lover. Song of Songs 5:16 declares, "His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem." This was the part of Himself that God wanted to reveal to me. This was the thing I had been missing, the thing He called me away to discover.
This is not an easy journey. It's not quite the definition of "fun." God will often call us away from the things that are distracting us, as He did for me. He will almost always call us to give up something so that He can prove that He is more than enough to fill. But the love that we discover is well worth it. The Beloved of Song of Songs describes it: "Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its ardor unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away."
We must be willing to surrender, and give up whatever it is that keeps us from discovering the true nature of our God. For me, it was romance and all my hopes and dreams of ever marrying. God had a heyday with that one. I don't know what it is in your life; but are you willing to be stripped down, to give up everything you know so that you can discover the joy that Jesus wants to show you?
Hosea 2:14 says, "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." Before He can win us, before He can capture our hearts, He must lead us out into the desert. He must take us through the wasteland before we will be able to see the beauty of what waits on the other side. Take His hand, walk into the desert with Him, and there give Him everything. He will become your Lover; He will become your Friend. Pour out everything at His feet, and He will fill you beyond what you ever thought possible.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Costly Obedience
When Jesus heard this, he said to him, "You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." ~Luke 18:22
I've been learning what it means to obey God, even when it hurts.
David was once commanded by God to build an altar on a piece of land that belonged to a man named Araunah. When Araunah heard why David wanted to purchase his land, he offered it to the king for free. But David responded, "No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing" (2 Samuel 24:24).
So many times in our lives, we offer to God burnt offerings that cost us nothing. "Two dollars to that homeless guy? Sure! This box of crayons to a little orphan girl in Ukraine? I'd love to! This strange-looking fern that my grandmother gave me for my birthday? Oh, Lord, I would love to give you that!" And we walk away feeling so good about ourselves, because we've done something for God.
And then He comes after the important things in our life. The things we believe are essential. "But if I do that, Lord, I may lose my dream of that beautiful house in Colorado with the white picket fence and the perfect husband. If I stand up and obey You in this area, God, I might lose that friendship. Jesus, if I give my life in obedience to You, You might take it from me."
We serve a God who demands all. Not just the things we feel like giving up. Everything. From your fern to your heart, He wants it all. And you can be assured that when you make a commitment to come after Him, He will demand obedience that will cost you something.
Isaiah 58:10 says that what is pleasing to God is to "spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry." Not to keep your life to yourself. Not to ignore God's call and stay comfortably at home, hoarding your money, your time, and your life. No, we are to spend ourselves. To give up everything for the least of these that God places around us, and in so doing, to know His face.
And so you don't have to be depressed that you're giving up your life. It is not drudgery, though it may feel like it for a while. Costly obedience is repaid tenfold. We have the pleasure, the joy of following in the footsteps of Christ, who gave up all for the sake of others. The least we can do is give up all for Him. And when we spend ourselves, He promises, "Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and He will say: Here am I" (Isaiah 58:8-9).
But first we must obey. Without sacrifice, there can be no return. Without passionate love for Jesus Christ, we will never bring ourselves to give up our all. And without spending our lives, we will lose more than we ever thought possible.
I've been learning what it means to obey God, even when it hurts.
David was once commanded by God to build an altar on a piece of land that belonged to a man named Araunah. When Araunah heard why David wanted to purchase his land, he offered it to the king for free. But David responded, "No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing" (2 Samuel 24:24).
So many times in our lives, we offer to God burnt offerings that cost us nothing. "Two dollars to that homeless guy? Sure! This box of crayons to a little orphan girl in Ukraine? I'd love to! This strange-looking fern that my grandmother gave me for my birthday? Oh, Lord, I would love to give you that!" And we walk away feeling so good about ourselves, because we've done something for God.
And then He comes after the important things in our life. The things we believe are essential. "But if I do that, Lord, I may lose my dream of that beautiful house in Colorado with the white picket fence and the perfect husband. If I stand up and obey You in this area, God, I might lose that friendship. Jesus, if I give my life in obedience to You, You might take it from me."
We serve a God who demands all. Not just the things we feel like giving up. Everything. From your fern to your heart, He wants it all. And you can be assured that when you make a commitment to come after Him, He will demand obedience that will cost you something.
Isaiah 58:10 says that what is pleasing to God is to "spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry." Not to keep your life to yourself. Not to ignore God's call and stay comfortably at home, hoarding your money, your time, and your life. No, we are to spend ourselves. To give up everything for the least of these that God places around us, and in so doing, to know His face.
And so you don't have to be depressed that you're giving up your life. It is not drudgery, though it may feel like it for a while. Costly obedience is repaid tenfold. We have the pleasure, the joy of following in the footsteps of Christ, who gave up all for the sake of others. The least we can do is give up all for Him. And when we spend ourselves, He promises, "Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and He will say: Here am I" (Isaiah 58:8-9).
But first we must obey. Without sacrifice, there can be no return. Without passionate love for Jesus Christ, we will never bring ourselves to give up our all. And without spending our lives, we will lose more than we ever thought possible.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Behind His Back
For my tenth birthday, my mom redecorated my room. She bought me a beautiful canopy, a new lamp, and an adorable fairy bedspread and sheets. Unfortunately, when she went to put on the new sheets and comforter, they didn't fit. The label that stated "Full/Queen" only fit a full-sized bed. So she returned my fairy bed fixings and went on a hunt for more.
She spent hours looking for the perfect bedspread and sheets. She never found little girl ones that would fit. She told me that she cried at the cashier, saying all she wanted to do was make my birthday special.
Well, eventually my mommy and I went out shopping together for my bed. We picked out a quilt that was far from little-girl, like she and I had both wanted. But it's still on my bed today. I love that quilt.
But every once in a while, I would feel horrible. I would think, "If it hadn't been for me, my mommy wouldn't have cried that day." I felt awful that she had gone to so much trouble for me. I would trace my finger over the embroidered flowers on my quilt and match tear-for-tear the tears my sweet mommy had cried.
About two months ago, I reminded her of her hunt for my perfect bedspread and confessed that I felt dreadful about it. She blinked. "What in the world are you talking about?"
I stared at her. "You mean you don't remember that?"
"I remember that we got you that new quilt, but I haven't thought about that in years. You mean you've been feeling bad about that all this time?"
Well.
How often do we do that with God? We sit around feeling horrible about a sin that we know He's already forgiven, and we feel so bad that we made Him sad. We agonize over our decisions. We drag up things we've already given to God.
I think when we do that, He just blinks. "You mean you've been feeling bad about that all this time? I haven't thought about that in years. Why in the world are you bringing it up now?"
Do we really believe that He's removed our sins from us as far as the east is from the west? I like to claim that I do. But if I really believe that, why do I drudge up the past so often?
Isaiah 38:17 says, "In Your love You kept me from the pit of destruction; You have put all my sins behind Your back." Does God "forget" our sins, as people commonly say? I don't think so. That's crazy to come to an omniscient God and say, "So, do You remember that horrible thing that I did on April 12, 2010?" and expect Him to scratch His head and reply, "April 12? Gosh, I think that day might be erased from My infinite memory... This is perplexing." No. I don't think He forgets in the way that we forget things. But He forgives. And He puts our sins behind His back, never to think about them again.
But we like to run behind His back, pick them up, and stick them in His face again. "See? Isn't that horrible what I did? Oh, You must hate me now..."
"Um, didn't I already deal with this one?"
"Well, yeah, but I thought You might have forgotten something the first time You forgave me. Or maybe You weren't paying attention and didn't really mean that You still love me. I mean, look at this! Obviously You missed this part right here. This is truly unforgivable. This part is too big for even You to forgive. I mean, seriously, there has to be a limit to what Jesus' sacrifice can cover, and if there is, this is it! I'm the unforgivable one! You found me! Oh, woe is me!"
Why in the world do we try to convince God not to forgive us?
Hand it over to God. Leave it there. And trust that He has covered your sins. We yank our sins back from God's hands and feel guilty about them all over again because of a lack of faith in the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ. Think about it: Who are you to think that you're the one special person in the universe whose sins God can't put behind His back?
She spent hours looking for the perfect bedspread and sheets. She never found little girl ones that would fit. She told me that she cried at the cashier, saying all she wanted to do was make my birthday special.
Well, eventually my mommy and I went out shopping together for my bed. We picked out a quilt that was far from little-girl, like she and I had both wanted. But it's still on my bed today. I love that quilt.
But every once in a while, I would feel horrible. I would think, "If it hadn't been for me, my mommy wouldn't have cried that day." I felt awful that she had gone to so much trouble for me. I would trace my finger over the embroidered flowers on my quilt and match tear-for-tear the tears my sweet mommy had cried.
About two months ago, I reminded her of her hunt for my perfect bedspread and confessed that I felt dreadful about it. She blinked. "What in the world are you talking about?"
I stared at her. "You mean you don't remember that?"
"I remember that we got you that new quilt, but I haven't thought about that in years. You mean you've been feeling bad about that all this time?"
Well.
How often do we do that with God? We sit around feeling horrible about a sin that we know He's already forgiven, and we feel so bad that we made Him sad. We agonize over our decisions. We drag up things we've already given to God.
I think when we do that, He just blinks. "You mean you've been feeling bad about that all this time? I haven't thought about that in years. Why in the world are you bringing it up now?"
Do we really believe that He's removed our sins from us as far as the east is from the west? I like to claim that I do. But if I really believe that, why do I drudge up the past so often?
Isaiah 38:17 says, "In Your love You kept me from the pit of destruction; You have put all my sins behind Your back." Does God "forget" our sins, as people commonly say? I don't think so. That's crazy to come to an omniscient God and say, "So, do You remember that horrible thing that I did on April 12, 2010?" and expect Him to scratch His head and reply, "April 12? Gosh, I think that day might be erased from My infinite memory... This is perplexing." No. I don't think He forgets in the way that we forget things. But He forgives. And He puts our sins behind His back, never to think about them again.
But we like to run behind His back, pick them up, and stick them in His face again. "See? Isn't that horrible what I did? Oh, You must hate me now..."
"Um, didn't I already deal with this one?"
"Well, yeah, but I thought You might have forgotten something the first time You forgave me. Or maybe You weren't paying attention and didn't really mean that You still love me. I mean, look at this! Obviously You missed this part right here. This is truly unforgivable. This part is too big for even You to forgive. I mean, seriously, there has to be a limit to what Jesus' sacrifice can cover, and if there is, this is it! I'm the unforgivable one! You found me! Oh, woe is me!"
Why in the world do we try to convince God not to forgive us?
Hand it over to God. Leave it there. And trust that He has covered your sins. We yank our sins back from God's hands and feel guilty about them all over again because of a lack of faith in the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ. Think about it: Who are you to think that you're the one special person in the universe whose sins God can't put behind His back?
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Just One Second
Give me Your eyes for just one second
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Everything that I've been missing
Give me Your love for humanity
Give me Your arms for the brokenhearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me a heart for the ones forgotten
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Okay, I'm not really a huge fan of that song. But for some reason, even though I change the channel every time I hear it, and so have not heard it in its entirety in months, I found the chorus running through my head over and over while sitting in the airport on my way to Las Vegas. I quickly replaced it with a song I liked more, and didn't think much about it.
Being in Las Vegas for four days, including an evening on the strip, I saw a lot of things. A lot of ads I wish I'd never seen, a lot of pictures I could've done without, a lot of sad, confused people wandering around looking for significance in places they will never find it. And it did burden me...but my heart never broke for these people. I don't know why. But while it made me sad, it never made me think, "Ah! This is how God feels about these people!"
On the flight home, sitting looking out the window, the song started going through my head again. I realized how huge this world is...yet so small in comparison. And how God has a unique, beautiful plan for everyone who was down below me, and aches for them to discover it. I wondered if this was how He feels, looking down from above and knowing that so many people have yet to encounter Him in a powerful way...because nobody will tell them. Lord, I prayed, give me Your eyes. Give me Your eyes, even for just one second.
As I prayed fervently to know the heartbeat of heaven, the call on my heart was so clear: Go. Tell them. Show them. Serve them. Love them. That's a recurring call for me. I have too much joy, too much love from Jesus to not share it. Occasionally, I get these random urges to run out into downtown, grab somebody, and tell them, "OhmygoodnessJesuslovesyousooooomuchandyoushouldloveHimtoo!" but I doubt that often works... Anywho, as I prayed, God gently showed me, You already love Me. Now can you love the ones I love?
So I continued to pray for passionate love for the lost and broken people around me. For the ones who think they're happy...but have yet to experience true joy. For people who have come to the end of their rope, and are ready to hear about the amazing love that is offered so freely.
Caught up in the excitement of telling my dad about my trip to Vegas on the drive home, I forgot this prayer. I forgot that I had asked to see through heaven's eyes, to feel my heart break, to have my eyes fill with the tears of Christ. However, as my parents were discussing something unrelated to me, my eyes drifted to the side of the road just in time to see a young man sit down on the sidewalk, pull his knees up to his chest, and bury his head in his hands.
In that split second, my heart broke. I could almost feel my hand reaching out to him as our car flew past. An overwhelming desire to turn around, sit down beside him, and ask him his story filled my heart. All I could do was pray as I thought about how defeated, how lonely, how broken he looked. And I knew -- I had been given what I asked for. I'd seen through God's eyes for just one second. In my four days in Las Vegas, my heart had never cried out against sin and despair as much as it did in that moment. And I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I have to tell them. There are so many people -- so many -- who have no idea about the love that Jesus has for them. Or if they do, they don't understand it, they don't believe it, they don't see it, and I have to tell them!
I didn't know how. Still don't. But I have an infinitely faithful God. He's what this life is all about. I can't do anything. I can sit here and write this blog, I can share the Gospel with as many people as I want to, but I will have no effect if God's not at work. He is infinitely trustworthy. And the more I realize that, the more I lose myself. The more I realize how insignificant I am, the more God can do things of eternal significance through me. And the more my heart breaks, the more I know without a doubt that I have to share the amazing, beautiful, fun life I've found in Jesus Christ. I trust that He will take me where I need to go in His time.
If you dare -- if you long to have a calling, if you long to feel heaven's heartbeat sound in your chest -- then ask. Pray for the Lord's eyes for a single moment. Pray for a single second that will change your life and inspire you to go. It is a prayer that He delights to answer.
By the way, that song, the one going through my head in the airport and the airplane: I had to look it up to figure out the exact lyrics of the chorus. It's about a guy discovering God's heart for the broken -- in an airport.
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Everything that I've been missing
Give me Your love for humanity
Give me Your arms for the brokenhearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me a heart for the ones forgotten
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Okay, I'm not really a huge fan of that song. But for some reason, even though I change the channel every time I hear it, and so have not heard it in its entirety in months, I found the chorus running through my head over and over while sitting in the airport on my way to Las Vegas. I quickly replaced it with a song I liked more, and didn't think much about it.
Being in Las Vegas for four days, including an evening on the strip, I saw a lot of things. A lot of ads I wish I'd never seen, a lot of pictures I could've done without, a lot of sad, confused people wandering around looking for significance in places they will never find it. And it did burden me...but my heart never broke for these people. I don't know why. But while it made me sad, it never made me think, "Ah! This is how God feels about these people!"
On the flight home, sitting looking out the window, the song started going through my head again. I realized how huge this world is...yet so small in comparison. And how God has a unique, beautiful plan for everyone who was down below me, and aches for them to discover it. I wondered if this was how He feels, looking down from above and knowing that so many people have yet to encounter Him in a powerful way...because nobody will tell them. Lord, I prayed, give me Your eyes. Give me Your eyes, even for just one second.
As I prayed fervently to know the heartbeat of heaven, the call on my heart was so clear: Go. Tell them. Show them. Serve them. Love them. That's a recurring call for me. I have too much joy, too much love from Jesus to not share it. Occasionally, I get these random urges to run out into downtown, grab somebody, and tell them, "OhmygoodnessJesuslovesyousooooomuchandyoushouldloveHimtoo!" but I doubt that often works... Anywho, as I prayed, God gently showed me, You already love Me. Now can you love the ones I love?
So I continued to pray for passionate love for the lost and broken people around me. For the ones who think they're happy...but have yet to experience true joy. For people who have come to the end of their rope, and are ready to hear about the amazing love that is offered so freely.
Caught up in the excitement of telling my dad about my trip to Vegas on the drive home, I forgot this prayer. I forgot that I had asked to see through heaven's eyes, to feel my heart break, to have my eyes fill with the tears of Christ. However, as my parents were discussing something unrelated to me, my eyes drifted to the side of the road just in time to see a young man sit down on the sidewalk, pull his knees up to his chest, and bury his head in his hands.
In that split second, my heart broke. I could almost feel my hand reaching out to him as our car flew past. An overwhelming desire to turn around, sit down beside him, and ask him his story filled my heart. All I could do was pray as I thought about how defeated, how lonely, how broken he looked. And I knew -- I had been given what I asked for. I'd seen through God's eyes for just one second. In my four days in Las Vegas, my heart had never cried out against sin and despair as much as it did in that moment. And I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I have to tell them. There are so many people -- so many -- who have no idea about the love that Jesus has for them. Or if they do, they don't understand it, they don't believe it, they don't see it, and I have to tell them!
I didn't know how. Still don't. But I have an infinitely faithful God. He's what this life is all about. I can't do anything. I can sit here and write this blog, I can share the Gospel with as many people as I want to, but I will have no effect if God's not at work. He is infinitely trustworthy. And the more I realize that, the more I lose myself. The more I realize how insignificant I am, the more God can do things of eternal significance through me. And the more my heart breaks, the more I know without a doubt that I have to share the amazing, beautiful, fun life I've found in Jesus Christ. I trust that He will take me where I need to go in His time.
If you dare -- if you long to have a calling, if you long to feel heaven's heartbeat sound in your chest -- then ask. Pray for the Lord's eyes for a single moment. Pray for a single second that will change your life and inspire you to go. It is a prayer that He delights to answer.
By the way, that song, the one going through my head in the airport and the airplane: I had to look it up to figure out the exact lyrics of the chorus. It's about a guy discovering God's heart for the broken -- in an airport.
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