Dear Brother,
You may be the guy I sit next to in science class. You may be the guy who held the door for me this morning. You may be any one of millions of young men on Planet Earth. But do you know what I figured out recently?
Whoever you are, you're someone else's future husband.
When I think of my future husband (if I get married), I imagine a young man whose heart has always been and always will be faithful to me. Whether or not that's a realistic picture or will be what actually happens, it's what I want (which is really hypocritical since I haven't exactly returned the favor...but I promise I'm going to start trying!). My perfect picture of the perfect man includes a heart that has been saved for me, eyes have never looked with love on anyone but me, hands that have never held the hand of a girl besides me. I firmly believe Jesus can give anyone (including me) a fresh start...but if I had my druthers, that's the way it would be.
So I had this crazy idea. What if I walked around looking at every guy thinking in my heart, Oh my goodness, won't it be beautiful when he gets married! How can I treat him now so that when he gets married, his wife comes to me one day and says, "Thank you for the way you treated and inspired my husband. Thank you for not attempting to take anything from him that was meant to be saved for me. Thank you for helping him preserve the gift of his heart and his mind. Thank you for making him a better man."
Golly, I'd love that. I'd love for your wife to think of me as that kind of woman. And I'd love to be the kind of woman that could inspire you to be a better man -- not so that I can have you, but so that the woman who does have you will be blessed by the man you are.
I'm pretty sure I've been a massive failure at that so far. Not that it's a pastime of mine to go around purposely tempting guys to dishonor their future wives, but I know it's happened. I know I do it. I know a couple times, I've done it pretty seriously.
So I just want to say to you, my dear brother...I'm sorry. And one day, tell your lovely, precious wife I'm sorry for me if I can't do it myself. I want to apologize to all the future wives out there for tempting your husbands to give away parts of themselves they should never have been asked to give away. And I want to apologize to you, the young men who have been and will be in my life, for having played a part in that. Should you ever choose to sit down with the woman God has for you and discuss the previous women in your life, I cannot imagine how mortified I would be when you had to talk about me.
But from now on, I commit to living differently. For your sake and for the sake of the gorgeous, amazing woman who will one day be your bride, I want to start to be the kind of woman who could be thanked for her interaction with you.
I don't know how. But by the grace of God and with His help in each and every day, I want to change. I want to be a good sister for you.
So I am I sorry for all the times I have caused your eyes to turn away from where they should be directed, and I look forward to a future of pointing you ever more toward Christ.
Love,
Kendall
