There is a tiny little word in the Bible that I think is my favorite. It occurs most notably in the Psalms, as David cries out to his Lord, or in Job. They pour out their troubles, baring their broken hearts, and then almost always follow with a single word: Yet.
"Yet You are enthroned as the Holy One..." "Yet will I praise Him..." "Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him..." "Yet in my flesh I will see God..." "Yet You heard my cry for mercy..." "Yet for Your sake we face death all day long..." "Yet I am always with You; You hold me by my right hand."
There are two different ways in which this word appears. One demonstrates man's faithfulness to God ("Though He slay me, yet..."). The other displays God's faithfulness to man ("Yet You are...").
Too often, my "yet" turns into a "but." "I know You want this, God, but..." "I know what You're calling me to do, God, but..." My answer should, instead, be, "My heart desires something else, yet I will obey." "I am afraid, yet I will follow." The conjunctions mean essentially the same thing; yet there's something so defiant about the word "yet." It refuses to give into circumstances. It refuses to complain. It declares, "Nevertheless." It cries, "In spite of all that surrounds me." It defies circumstances.
In my Senior Thesis, I wrote, "Jesus describes a wholehearted love for the Lord. This love is not a partial commitment or a mere pastime; it requires 'all.' An individual who loves God in this way is not coolly affectionate. He is enthralled by his Lord, and this love affects every single part of his life." Jesus does not always ask for the things that are easy to give. He asks for the things that require more than being "coolly affectionate." He probably wouldn't ask me for my baking skills, seeing that I bake about once a year and am really quite bad at it.
But He will ask for the things -- the people -- that I care most deeply about. He will ask me to surrender things that have changed me, things that have the strongest hold on my heart, things that have shaped who I am. And once He has them, I have a choice. I can sit in rebellion. I can be angry at Him for asking for those things.
Or I can say, "Yet..." Despite all that He has taken, He will give even more: More of Himself. More of the only thing I will ever need.
And when I feel like my world is spinning out of control... When I feel like my heart cannot take any more... When my greatest cry is for my heart to simply be kept alive... Yet He is always with me. Yet He is enthroned in heaven. Yet He is God, and more than worthy of the best of my heart.
Showing posts with label Broken Hearts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Broken Hearts. Show all posts
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
A Lasting Hope
"I finally started cutting for real. It bled. It hurt. But it's spring, and I'm going to stop. I don't want people to see the cuts on my arm and feel bad. So what will I do to stop the pain now? Isn't it obvious? I cut on my hip instead. And I'm only eleven. Is there no way out?" ~Six Billion Secrets
There are very few things more sad than this. More heart-breaking. But what may be even more sad than this "secret" is the sort of response this young lady received. Several people declaring that she needed to "go out and get a freakin' life." "You're flippin' eleven, live your life." And so on. Those who actually seemed to care repeated the same sentiment over and over: Cutting is not the answer.
But none of them seemed to know what the answer actually is.
This world is obsessed with quick fixes. People offered this girl options for what she could do instead of cutting: Squeeze an ice cube, write in a journal, hit a pillow. All excellent distractions that keep you from self-harm. I've done many of those things myself. But these are all immediate distractions, not a solution to the deeper problem that has to be eating away at this girl's heart. Even cutting is something of a "quick fix"; a symptom of a much more deep-seeded problem.
And no one had any idea how to address that. And that's what breaks my heart.
Five years ago, Jesus saw poor, pitiful little me. Huddled in a freezing cold study. Ready to go beyond just scratching myself, ready to gather the courage to actually make myself bleed. But before I could put anything to my arm, He gently whispered to my heart, I already took that cut. And I never cut, or even came close, again.
Two thousand years ago, Jesus saw that darling eleven-year-old girl. He saw her breaking heart. He saw the pain she couldn't keep inside any longer. He saw what she did to try and make it go away. And He gave up His life so that she could keep hers. But who is ever going to actually tell her what He did for her? Who is going to intercede on her behalf? Who is going to plead that someone will come into her life and let her know she is worthy of love? Who is going to be the hands and feet of Christ to this child?
I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home. I was blessed to have parents that gave me a solid foundation. I knew Bible verses. I knew who Jesus was. I knew the Gospel story. So that, in my darkest hour, when I heard Jesus' voice, I knew exactly who it was. But that is not a luxury that many have these days. If people know the Gospel, they tend to know the watered-down, fictional version.
But the Gospel has power. Jesus Christ has power. This world needs to know that when the blow was about to fall; when the blade was about to be lowered; when the whip was about to strike; Jesus stood in their place. His body took the hit. His arm took the cut. His back took the lashes that were rightfully ours. He removed the chains from our wrists and put them on His own, so that we could walk out of our prison cell and live in freedom. And not only did He take our chains -- He shattered them.
And even in America, when there's a church just about every five minutes down every given street, I never cease to be amazed how few people actually know this. When people ask, "Is there no way out?" why are Christ's children not stepping up and crying, "Yes! There is a way out! There is a God who loves you no matter what you do, who gave up His very life because He adores you so much. He doesn't want you to be perfect. He wants all your broken pieces. He wants your heartbreak, your depression, your anger, your sadness. He wants your ashes so that He can make them something beautiful. Please, just give them to Him!"
Instead, we write people off as lost causes.
Our God is alive. Our God is working. Our God stood in the gap, our God took the blow, our God aches for people to just come sit at His feet and be loved by Him. He doesn't want people to try harder. He doesn't want the prodigal to work for Him; He wants the prodigal to be wrapped up in His arms until everything that happened in the past is washed away.
Too often, I treat people as though they need to do more. As though they aren't trying hard enough to obey God. As though until they have exactly the same relationship with God that I have, they're not good enough.
But then I remember where I was five years ago. And I realize that some of these people have not learned to hear the voice of God. That they may never have even heard His Name. That they need someone, not to judge them, but to be Jesus' hands and feet. They need someone to tell them, He already took that cut.
They don't need to do more. They just need to be loved.
Let the Living God work and love through you. The world is starving for hope, and hope that lasts beyond a quick fix can only be found in Christ. Hope that saves lives comes from God. Hope that changes lives comes from the One who was cut, so that we don't have to be.
Hope comes from the Risen Christ. And we have the privilege of telling this world about Him.
There are very few things more sad than this. More heart-breaking. But what may be even more sad than this "secret" is the sort of response this young lady received. Several people declaring that she needed to "go out and get a freakin' life." "You're flippin' eleven, live your life." And so on. Those who actually seemed to care repeated the same sentiment over and over: Cutting is not the answer.
But none of them seemed to know what the answer actually is.
This world is obsessed with quick fixes. People offered this girl options for what she could do instead of cutting: Squeeze an ice cube, write in a journal, hit a pillow. All excellent distractions that keep you from self-harm. I've done many of those things myself. But these are all immediate distractions, not a solution to the deeper problem that has to be eating away at this girl's heart. Even cutting is something of a "quick fix"; a symptom of a much more deep-seeded problem.
And no one had any idea how to address that. And that's what breaks my heart.
Five years ago, Jesus saw poor, pitiful little me. Huddled in a freezing cold study. Ready to go beyond just scratching myself, ready to gather the courage to actually make myself bleed. But before I could put anything to my arm, He gently whispered to my heart, I already took that cut. And I never cut, or even came close, again.
Two thousand years ago, Jesus saw that darling eleven-year-old girl. He saw her breaking heart. He saw the pain she couldn't keep inside any longer. He saw what she did to try and make it go away. And He gave up His life so that she could keep hers. But who is ever going to actually tell her what He did for her? Who is going to intercede on her behalf? Who is going to plead that someone will come into her life and let her know she is worthy of love? Who is going to be the hands and feet of Christ to this child?
I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home. I was blessed to have parents that gave me a solid foundation. I knew Bible verses. I knew who Jesus was. I knew the Gospel story. So that, in my darkest hour, when I heard Jesus' voice, I knew exactly who it was. But that is not a luxury that many have these days. If people know the Gospel, they tend to know the watered-down, fictional version.
But the Gospel has power. Jesus Christ has power. This world needs to know that when the blow was about to fall; when the blade was about to be lowered; when the whip was about to strike; Jesus stood in their place. His body took the hit. His arm took the cut. His back took the lashes that were rightfully ours. He removed the chains from our wrists and put them on His own, so that we could walk out of our prison cell and live in freedom. And not only did He take our chains -- He shattered them.
And even in America, when there's a church just about every five minutes down every given street, I never cease to be amazed how few people actually know this. When people ask, "Is there no way out?" why are Christ's children not stepping up and crying, "Yes! There is a way out! There is a God who loves you no matter what you do, who gave up His very life because He adores you so much. He doesn't want you to be perfect. He wants all your broken pieces. He wants your heartbreak, your depression, your anger, your sadness. He wants your ashes so that He can make them something beautiful. Please, just give them to Him!"
Instead, we write people off as lost causes.
Our God is alive. Our God is working. Our God stood in the gap, our God took the blow, our God aches for people to just come sit at His feet and be loved by Him. He doesn't want people to try harder. He doesn't want the prodigal to work for Him; He wants the prodigal to be wrapped up in His arms until everything that happened in the past is washed away.
Too often, I treat people as though they need to do more. As though they aren't trying hard enough to obey God. As though until they have exactly the same relationship with God that I have, they're not good enough.
But then I remember where I was five years ago. And I realize that some of these people have not learned to hear the voice of God. That they may never have even heard His Name. That they need someone, not to judge them, but to be Jesus' hands and feet. They need someone to tell them, He already took that cut.
They don't need to do more. They just need to be loved.
Let the Living God work and love through you. The world is starving for hope, and hope that lasts beyond a quick fix can only be found in Christ. Hope that saves lives comes from God. Hope that changes lives comes from the One who was cut, so that we don't have to be.
Hope comes from the Risen Christ. And we have the privilege of telling this world about Him.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Dear Beautiful
Dear Beautiful,
I know what goes on inside that head of yours. I might not know specifics, since we have very different lives, families, experiences. But in general, as a teenage girl in 2011, I know what those thoughts are. They go through my head, too.
You think nothing you do is ever good enough. You're always disappointing someone -- your parents, your friends, maybe just yourself. You don't measure up. You'll never be able to do anything right, or at least right enough to set you apart and get you noticed.
You don't think you're beautiful. It doesn't matter how many people tell you you're gorgeous -- they're your friends, they have to say that. And if one of them actually criticizes you, it hurts more than anything; after all, who would know better than they? Maybe you even make disparaging comments about your appearance so that you can hear other people contradict you. A stranger's compliment means more than anything the people who know you best could ever say. If warned that a guy only liked you for your looks, you might even be delighted. If your looks are enough to attract, without all that "personality" junk, that would mean you're pretty gosh-darn gorgeous! But somehow, not even that affirmation would be enough to convince you of your beauty.
You want a problem. Maybe you don't know it, and maybe your "problem" is genuine. But when the people around you struggle, they get attention. And however subconsciously, you want a problem so that you'll need that help and attention. You feel absolutely horrible for wanting this attention that others desperately need; but somehow, you can't help it. Your "problem" might be as subtle as self-pity over how you are always helping others, and no one even thinks that you might need help.
And all of this can come back to a very human, very feminine need: To be loved. Really, truly loved. We girls want and need it so badly that when the potential of that love occurs, we either throw ourselves into it without a thought, afraid of losing it, or hang back, fearing it's too good to be true.
And naturally, we think this love will come in the form of a guy.
It's only natural that we think this. After all, "Someday my prince will come" has been fed to us since the age of two. Our prince would come, transform us from rags to riches, and we'd live happily ever after. Everything would be solved by this one magical man. So of course, we look for him. We become self-conscious. After all, what if that magical man meets you on a bad hair day when you didn't have time to do your make-up? Would the entire course of history change because your mascara was neglected that morning?
We begin looking in the craziest places for this guy to appear. "Well, he's not exactly what I've pictured... But I can change him! He's cute, and he likes me! How often does that happen? He must be the one!" Or maybe he doesn't even like you in that way...but if you can just become a little prettier, if you can just do a little more to catch his eye, he'll realize what a gem you are...and he'll become "the one."
And all the while, we're silently screaming, "See me. Notice me. Think I'm worth something. Give me a reason to get up in the morning. Love me."
By the time we graduate high school, our hearts are no longer whole. They've been held out to anyone -- everyone -- freely. You hope this gift of your heart will be enough. That someone will accept it. And perhaps it has occasionally been accepted -- and then handed back, battered and bruised, leaving you even less to offer the next passer-by.
Instead of meeting that deepest need of your feminine heart, pursuing a guy's attention has actually made that need deeper. But no matter how many times a crush fails to satisfy you, you somehow still think the answer to all your problems can be solved by a boy.
You know what's coming now. I'm going to tell you that your heart's desire for love and attention cannot be met by a guy. It can only be found in Jesus Christ.
"I know," you say, "I've heard it a million times. But Kendall, I'm sorry, I've tried to let God be enough. And He's not."
Maybe you wouldn't put it that bluntly. But admit it: At some point in your life, the "Jesus thing" didn't work for you. You tried seeking Jesus, but that wasn't enough. God's love was not enough. I mean, think about it: He loves everyone. He thinks you're beautiful, but He made you; He has to think that. He can love you across time and space, but He can't reach out and tangibly take your hand or give you a hug. It's almost...commonplace. Not special.
Not enough. You need God...and something else.
May I suggest something? It's not comfortable. It's not nice. It's not what you want to hear.
You don't have room for God.
I've tried seeking Him, you say. How much time per day do you spend diving into His Word? Pouring your heart out in prayer? Allow me to venture a guess that it's not as much time as you spend on Facebook or texting your friends. (And I'm guilty of that too.)
I've tried to let His love be enough, you say. Have you allowed Him to strip away everything else in your life that's distracting you from His overwhelming adoration? Have you sat silently at His feet, allowing Him to restore life to your aching heart?
I can't reach out and touch Him, you say. Can't you? He stated that whatever you do for the least of these around you, you do for Him. Haven't you ever seen Christ in the face of a child in Sunday school? Haven't you ever felt Him in the hug of a loving friend? Have you ever asked to see through the eyes of Jesus?
He loves everyone, you say. Yes. He loves you perfectly. Uniquely. He designed you just the way He wanted you, to accomplish a specific purpose on this earth. He is incredibly in love with you, with your heart, with your life. If you were the only one He would have saved, He still would have given His life for you. And He knows every single little thing you've ever said, done, or thought. He knows what goes on inside your mind in the middle of the night -- the things that no one else will ever know, nor would you want them too. He knows all that; and He still loves you.
If you truly want to be satisfied by this glorious God, sweet girl, you need to seek Him with your entire heart. The attention you crave must be forgotten. Any needs to be told you're beautiful in the world's eyes must be laid to rest at the foot of the cross. To have the deepest longings of your feminine heart satisfied, you must stop trying to satisfy them with anything else.
Let this world fade away. Allow Him to tear down your idols. And I promise -- when He becomes all you want, He becomes all you need.
You cannot seek God while this world fills your heart. Empty yourself; and then fill. Fill to overflowing. Pour out your life at Jesus' feet, and then be filled beyond all imagination with a love that will never leave you wanting more.
And then one day, you will experience a love story like no other. As you fall more in love with Jesus, you'll fall more in love with this man; and as you fall more in love with this man, you'll fall more in love with Jesus. He'll think you're gorgeous without any make-up, on a bad hair day, because it's the glowing, whole heart that is consumed with love for a beautiful Savior that attracts him. He'll love your eyes and your smile because they're yours, not because the world has decided that they meet some fickle, ever-changing criteria of beauty. His passion for Christ will inspire you to greater passion, and your passion will do the same for him.
And it all begins with coming to Jesus and making the decision to follow wholeheartedly. It means ceasing to live by the world's standards, forsaking all, and embracing a new meaning of beauty. It is a radical emptying of self, determining to live only for the applause of heaven.
You have the opportunity to be radiant. Will you let it slip through your fingers, continuing in a pattern of pain, heartbreak, and an ever-growing need for acknowledgment and affection? Or will you seize this opportunity, and become a shining example of God's pure power?
"Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear: Forget your people and your father's house. The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for He is your Lord." ~Psalm 45:10-11 (emphasis added)
I am praying for you.
In His Love,
Kendall
I know what goes on inside that head of yours. I might not know specifics, since we have very different lives, families, experiences. But in general, as a teenage girl in 2011, I know what those thoughts are. They go through my head, too.
You think nothing you do is ever good enough. You're always disappointing someone -- your parents, your friends, maybe just yourself. You don't measure up. You'll never be able to do anything right, or at least right enough to set you apart and get you noticed.
You don't think you're beautiful. It doesn't matter how many people tell you you're gorgeous -- they're your friends, they have to say that. And if one of them actually criticizes you, it hurts more than anything; after all, who would know better than they? Maybe you even make disparaging comments about your appearance so that you can hear other people contradict you. A stranger's compliment means more than anything the people who know you best could ever say. If warned that a guy only liked you for your looks, you might even be delighted. If your looks are enough to attract, without all that "personality" junk, that would mean you're pretty gosh-darn gorgeous! But somehow, not even that affirmation would be enough to convince you of your beauty.
You want a problem. Maybe you don't know it, and maybe your "problem" is genuine. But when the people around you struggle, they get attention. And however subconsciously, you want a problem so that you'll need that help and attention. You feel absolutely horrible for wanting this attention that others desperately need; but somehow, you can't help it. Your "problem" might be as subtle as self-pity over how you are always helping others, and no one even thinks that you might need help.
And all of this can come back to a very human, very feminine need: To be loved. Really, truly loved. We girls want and need it so badly that when the potential of that love occurs, we either throw ourselves into it without a thought, afraid of losing it, or hang back, fearing it's too good to be true.
And naturally, we think this love will come in the form of a guy.
It's only natural that we think this. After all, "Someday my prince will come" has been fed to us since the age of two. Our prince would come, transform us from rags to riches, and we'd live happily ever after. Everything would be solved by this one magical man. So of course, we look for him. We become self-conscious. After all, what if that magical man meets you on a bad hair day when you didn't have time to do your make-up? Would the entire course of history change because your mascara was neglected that morning?
We begin looking in the craziest places for this guy to appear. "Well, he's not exactly what I've pictured... But I can change him! He's cute, and he likes me! How often does that happen? He must be the one!" Or maybe he doesn't even like you in that way...but if you can just become a little prettier, if you can just do a little more to catch his eye, he'll realize what a gem you are...and he'll become "the one."
And all the while, we're silently screaming, "See me. Notice me. Think I'm worth something. Give me a reason to get up in the morning. Love me."
By the time we graduate high school, our hearts are no longer whole. They've been held out to anyone -- everyone -- freely. You hope this gift of your heart will be enough. That someone will accept it. And perhaps it has occasionally been accepted -- and then handed back, battered and bruised, leaving you even less to offer the next passer-by.
Instead of meeting that deepest need of your feminine heart, pursuing a guy's attention has actually made that need deeper. But no matter how many times a crush fails to satisfy you, you somehow still think the answer to all your problems can be solved by a boy.
You know what's coming now. I'm going to tell you that your heart's desire for love and attention cannot be met by a guy. It can only be found in Jesus Christ.
"I know," you say, "I've heard it a million times. But Kendall, I'm sorry, I've tried to let God be enough. And He's not."
Maybe you wouldn't put it that bluntly. But admit it: At some point in your life, the "Jesus thing" didn't work for you. You tried seeking Jesus, but that wasn't enough. God's love was not enough. I mean, think about it: He loves everyone. He thinks you're beautiful, but He made you; He has to think that. He can love you across time and space, but He can't reach out and tangibly take your hand or give you a hug. It's almost...commonplace. Not special.
Not enough. You need God...and something else.
May I suggest something? It's not comfortable. It's not nice. It's not what you want to hear.
You don't have room for God.
I've tried seeking Him, you say. How much time per day do you spend diving into His Word? Pouring your heart out in prayer? Allow me to venture a guess that it's not as much time as you spend on Facebook or texting your friends. (And I'm guilty of that too.)
I've tried to let His love be enough, you say. Have you allowed Him to strip away everything else in your life that's distracting you from His overwhelming adoration? Have you sat silently at His feet, allowing Him to restore life to your aching heart?
I can't reach out and touch Him, you say. Can't you? He stated that whatever you do for the least of these around you, you do for Him. Haven't you ever seen Christ in the face of a child in Sunday school? Haven't you ever felt Him in the hug of a loving friend? Have you ever asked to see through the eyes of Jesus?
He loves everyone, you say. Yes. He loves you perfectly. Uniquely. He designed you just the way He wanted you, to accomplish a specific purpose on this earth. He is incredibly in love with you, with your heart, with your life. If you were the only one He would have saved, He still would have given His life for you. And He knows every single little thing you've ever said, done, or thought. He knows what goes on inside your mind in the middle of the night -- the things that no one else will ever know, nor would you want them too. He knows all that; and He still loves you.
If you truly want to be satisfied by this glorious God, sweet girl, you need to seek Him with your entire heart. The attention you crave must be forgotten. Any needs to be told you're beautiful in the world's eyes must be laid to rest at the foot of the cross. To have the deepest longings of your feminine heart satisfied, you must stop trying to satisfy them with anything else.
Let this world fade away. Allow Him to tear down your idols. And I promise -- when He becomes all you want, He becomes all you need.
You cannot seek God while this world fills your heart. Empty yourself; and then fill. Fill to overflowing. Pour out your life at Jesus' feet, and then be filled beyond all imagination with a love that will never leave you wanting more.
And then one day, you will experience a love story like no other. As you fall more in love with Jesus, you'll fall more in love with this man; and as you fall more in love with this man, you'll fall more in love with Jesus. He'll think you're gorgeous without any make-up, on a bad hair day, because it's the glowing, whole heart that is consumed with love for a beautiful Savior that attracts him. He'll love your eyes and your smile because they're yours, not because the world has decided that they meet some fickle, ever-changing criteria of beauty. His passion for Christ will inspire you to greater passion, and your passion will do the same for him.
And it all begins with coming to Jesus and making the decision to follow wholeheartedly. It means ceasing to live by the world's standards, forsaking all, and embracing a new meaning of beauty. It is a radical emptying of self, determining to live only for the applause of heaven.
You have the opportunity to be radiant. Will you let it slip through your fingers, continuing in a pattern of pain, heartbreak, and an ever-growing need for acknowledgment and affection? Or will you seize this opportunity, and become a shining example of God's pure power?
"Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear: Forget your people and your father's house. The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for He is your Lord." ~Psalm 45:10-11 (emphasis added)
I am praying for you.
In His Love,
Kendall
Sunday, January 9, 2011
The Unlikely Mission Field
It's inspiring. It's heartbreaking. It tells stories of hearts broken and lives remade. It's time-consuming. It can make some smile. It makes others weep. It can be uplifting or oppressive. It can be en enormous waste of time, or it can be a way of radiantly reflecting Christ and reaching out to serve others.
It's Facebook.
When Facebook first became popular, I was hugely confused about what was so great about it. I updated my status around once a month. I was a boring Facebook user.
As I got older and began to lose contact with more of my friends, I began to see the utility of Facebook in staying connected to people I would otherwise probably never hear from. Many of my friendships have stayed alive because of Facebook. Now, it has become one of my greatest areas for ministry.
The following is my "Facebook philosophy" -- the "policies" I have adopted so that rather than being a distraction and poor use of my time, time on Facebook can become a way of reaching out to others and encouraging them.
Facebook can be an incredible opportunity for ministry. After all, how else do you have contact to so many people in a single day? So long as we use it wisely and selflessly, I am convinced that God can easily work through Facebook to bring people to Him. I challenge you to consider how you can use a social network for His glory. You may end up blessing people without ever knowing it!
It's Facebook.
When Facebook first became popular, I was hugely confused about what was so great about it. I updated my status around once a month. I was a boring Facebook user.
As I got older and began to lose contact with more of my friends, I began to see the utility of Facebook in staying connected to people I would otherwise probably never hear from. Many of my friendships have stayed alive because of Facebook. Now, it has become one of my greatest areas for ministry.
The following is my "Facebook philosophy" -- the "policies" I have adopted so that rather than being a distraction and poor use of my time, time on Facebook can become a way of reaching out to others and encouraging them.
- Discover Spirit-led prayer. Most of us spend much more time on Facebook than we need to, simply because we have "nothing better to do." It should take no more than five or ten minutes to get all of your "Most Recent" posts read. Then, instead of spending time playing games or creepily stalking peoples' profiles, ask God to open your eyes to the people who need prayer. I used to pray for every single person who appeared on my news feed by name whenever I would read their posts. While I no longer do that, as it actually increased my time spent online, this habit was a wonderful time of learning to discern God's voice. Many times, something specific would come to mind for certain individuals. God still uses status updates to draw my attention to someone who needs prayer -- even if their status is as simple as, "Chocolate ice cream is delicious."
- Take advantage of messaging. I don't mean chat; I turn my chat off. But you have the opportunity to reach and encourage people with the click of a button. Send encouraging messages. Let somebody know you're praying for them. You never know how God is working; I've often gotten messages back saying that was exactly what that person had needed at the time. [Note: This does not mean you should send messages willy-nilly. Ask God if there is someone who needs an encouraging word, and if He brings no one to mind, send nothing.]
- Don't post negative statuses. Two hundred and nineteen of your "friends" do not need to know your most intimate struggles. They don't need to know how much you hate your parents. Your post-break-up depression does not need to be posted for every person you know (or don't know) to read about. Thoughts of self-harm are intended to be shared with parents or another trusted adult, not with that one guy you met at that camp that one time. If you would not tell every single one of your Facebook friends in person, don't post it on Facebook. It comes off as a poor, selfish cry for attention; and far too often, it gets the desired reaction in the form of comments from well-meaning friends.
- Don't be too open. You are a complex individual with unique circumstances, emotions, and reactions. The moment you declare every single thing you feel on Facebook, you lose your intrinsic mystery and become a much less fascinating person. Even if it is a positive experience, don't share every detail of your personal life with all these people. I rarely share my emotions on Facebook unless they are generic feelings of praise, gratitude, love, etc. Even when I am privately discussing the way God is working in my life, I do not give specific examples. Try to keep some of that old-fashioned distance and reserve in the way you write your status messages. I seriously doubt you would truly want hundreds of people knowing the inner workings of your heart; and yet, many of us unwittingly post them daily (and in great detail).
- Be encouraging. If you can't post something nice, don't post it at all! Whenever I've found myself wanting to post something less-than-positive, I come to realize that it is simply because I want the attention. I want people to feel sorry for me. But here are more than 200 people who do not need any more negativity in their life, especially from someone who claims to have the joy of the Lord as her strength. If anything, they need a word of encouragement from Jesus Christ. So more often than not, I end up posting things that weren't written by me at all. They are quotes from people far wiser than I; and they end up crazily blessing people when I least expect it.
Facebook can be an incredible opportunity for ministry. After all, how else do you have contact to so many people in a single day? So long as we use it wisely and selflessly, I am convinced that God can easily work through Facebook to bring people to Him. I challenge you to consider how you can use a social network for His glory. You may end up blessing people without ever knowing it!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Ordained Praise
Satan loves pity parties. You may think you're the guest of honor, but it's really him. He thinks they're the greatest things ever. Pity parties are the perfect time to sneak up behind you and whisper in your ear every single little insecurity you've ever had. They're the perfect time to distract you from everything you know is true. And what he really loves about them is that they make you feel helpless against it. You don't see a way out of this self-pity and all the hurtful thoughts it brings; so he convinces you that it's not even worth trying. Or if it is worth trying, he warps what you believe about how to fight against it. Pretty soon, we have eating disorders; cutting; depression; suicide. Most commonly, we hate ourselves for feeling this way -- and thus begins the vicious cycle of self-pity.
And oh, Satan just gives a gurgling giggle of glee. The absolute best lies come out during these times. One of the main ones: This isn't a pity party. I'm hurting, and I want to mope about it, okay?? Yes. We hurt. And Satan loves to convince us that it's absolutely okay to dwell on that pain. And that even if it's not okay, there's really nothing we can do about it. After all, if we're not thinking about it, how are we ever going to get better?
LIES, I tell you, lies! Absolutely, we should not deny that we're hurting. (That's another one of the things he likes to convince us to do... Golly, I don't like him.) But do you know what we are supposed to do with all that pain? With all those broken pieces?
"Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you." ~1 Peter 5:7
"Arise, cry out in the watches of the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord." ~Lamentations 2:19
"From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger." ~Psalm 8:2
The first two state exactly what we should do when confronted with pain: Dump it. Not on your friends, although of course you can ask for prayer. But they cannot heal you. So please don't expect them to. No, cast everything on God. For He cares for you. He knows everything that's going on already, but there's something crucial about you actually coming to Him and talking about it.
And finally, my personal favorite response when Satan's lies start to creep in: Worship. Praise. This should not be that kind of worship like, "Oh my gosh, God, life is really horrible. Please make it better." That's supplication. That's the kind of intercession that your friends can be doing for you. That's also included in the "casting your cares" part. But once those cares are cast, leave them, and just start worshiping. Praise Him for who He is. Praise Him for His promises. Completely disregard your circumstances, and just worship! He is worthy, and whatever is going on in your life does not change that fact. Satan cannot stand it when you worship God -- especially in the face of pain.
These are a few "worship methods" that my mom and I have come up with and shared over the years. Of course, they're not original, but they are effective, and we go back to them over and over again.
Well -- there isn't one. So no matter how much you don't want to, get with your King and praise Him. Even if it doesn't feel real, even if it doesn't feel true, He'll help you. As you pour out your worship before Him, He will fill you up with Him. And Satan will run away as fast as possible from the powerful presence of God.
It's sometimes not easy -- but it's simple. So worship, my friend. Be astounded by the beauty of your God. And forget all of that pain you hold inside; for as you praise Him, He heals you. And when He heals you, you won't be able to keep from praising Him.
And oh, Satan just gives a gurgling giggle of glee. The absolute best lies come out during these times. One of the main ones: This isn't a pity party. I'm hurting, and I want to mope about it, okay?? Yes. We hurt. And Satan loves to convince us that it's absolutely okay to dwell on that pain. And that even if it's not okay, there's really nothing we can do about it. After all, if we're not thinking about it, how are we ever going to get better?
LIES, I tell you, lies! Absolutely, we should not deny that we're hurting. (That's another one of the things he likes to convince us to do... Golly, I don't like him.) But do you know what we are supposed to do with all that pain? With all those broken pieces?
"Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you." ~1 Peter 5:7
"Arise, cry out in the watches of the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord." ~Lamentations 2:19
"From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger." ~Psalm 8:2
The first two state exactly what we should do when confronted with pain: Dump it. Not on your friends, although of course you can ask for prayer. But they cannot heal you. So please don't expect them to. No, cast everything on God. For He cares for you. He knows everything that's going on already, but there's something crucial about you actually coming to Him and talking about it.
And finally, my personal favorite response when Satan's lies start to creep in: Worship. Praise. This should not be that kind of worship like, "Oh my gosh, God, life is really horrible. Please make it better." That's supplication. That's the kind of intercession that your friends can be doing for you. That's also included in the "casting your cares" part. But once those cares are cast, leave them, and just start worshiping. Praise Him for who He is. Praise Him for His promises. Completely disregard your circumstances, and just worship! He is worthy, and whatever is going on in your life does not change that fact. Satan cannot stand it when you worship God -- especially in the face of pain.
These are a few "worship methods" that my mom and I have come up with and shared over the years. Of course, they're not original, but they are effective, and we go back to them over and over again.
- Journal. Satan cannot hear your thoughts; and if you try to pray in your head, you're much more likely to get distracted by those lies still being shouted at you from that despicable, mean, horrid...you know.
- Pray out loud. Same dealio as the journaling. And specifically, pray that God would banish the Evil One!
- Read scripture out loud. Particularly Psalms. Psalms of thanksgiving are the absolute best.
- Sing! This is my favorite (for those of you who know me, that's not a surprise...) I sit at the piano or pull out the guitar and just repeat the same worship songs over and over. OR I pull out my iPod (or open YouTube) and sing along. These songs usually have nothing to do with the precise lies I'm hearing at the moment. They're just songs telling God how absolutely great He is. And Satan really doesn't like being reminded of that...
Well -- there isn't one. So no matter how much you don't want to, get with your King and praise Him. Even if it doesn't feel real, even if it doesn't feel true, He'll help you. As you pour out your worship before Him, He will fill you up with Him. And Satan will run away as fast as possible from the powerful presence of God.
It's sometimes not easy -- but it's simple. So worship, my friend. Be astounded by the beauty of your God. And forget all of that pain you hold inside; for as you praise Him, He heals you. And when He heals you, you won't be able to keep from praising Him.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Crazy Love
Bear with me for a moment, and let me tell you who you are.
You are chosen. You are designed with a purpose. Not a single feature on your face is a mistake. You're smile was specifically created just for you, though it was meant to be shared.
You were so beautifully designed that Someone fell in love with you. In fact, He fell in love with you before you were even born. He knew who you would be. He knew every mistake you would ever make. He knew every hair that would be on your head every second of every day. He knew all the times you would fall down; all the times you would reject His love; all the times you would spit in His face in unbelief; all the times you would walk away, feeling unworthy, unlovable, unforgivable; all the times you would turn your head away in sadness, unwilling to believe that He could wipe away every tear; all the times you would think someone else was more important than Him; all the times you would refuse to trust Him; all the times you would turn away from Him and never even give Him a thought.
But He fell in love with you nevertheless. And when you heard what He thought about you, that He believed you were beautiful and special, you couldn't believe it. It defied logic. It was too silly. Too ridiculous. It made no sense. This perfect One, falling in love with...you?
And then it got even more ridiculous. Seems this perfect Man actually died for you -- and not just died, but died an excruciatingly painful death. He suffered horribly. It was senseless. He'd done nothing wrong. You were the one who messed up. But He willingly stepped in and took your place, because He adored you. And the worst part was -- He could have come down at any moment. He could have called thousands of angels to His command. But He could see into the future, and see that one day, He would have a chance of winning your heart, if only He would stay, suffer, and die now. And so He stayed. He stayed, and He died.
But it did not end the day that He died. It began. And it got even more ridiculous. This perfect Man actually came back to life. He knew that one day, you would look at this amazing thing, this "death of death," and take it for granted. But He knew it would save you -- and so He did it anyway. He knew that His heart would break because of it, when you would go through days at a time without even thinking about it. But He did it anyway, because He was so in love with you.
And then He waited. He waited for the day you would be born. He was so, so excited. He had a beautiful life planned for you. It would not be easy. You would struggle. You would cry. You would face loneliness, rejection, depression, failure, loss, pain. But He was waiting to face it with you. He knew that if you would continually keep running back to His arms, all the pain you were experiencing would pale in comparison to His great, great love for you. In those moments with Him, you would forget this world, and you would remember that one day, the two of you would be perfectly, eternally together. And you would never hurt again.
But the world that He had created -- filled with beauty, because He wanted to fill your heart with the joy of a sunrise and the peace of a rainbow -- became distracting. You forgot that He was much, much more lovely than the world around you. And without Him in every day, the world started to lose its enchantment. Instead of the difficult but beautiful walk with Him that He had planned, you walked away, trying to face the problems set before you on your own. You knew He was still there, and you still talked to Him; but you did not understand the passionate relationship He wanted. And so while His words affected your decisions, His presence was not constantly felt in your daily life.
And so you began taking on things that He never wanted you to deal with on your own. The life He had designed to be so joyful, even in the face of adversity, was drudgery. The circumstances you were never meant to carry by yourself nearly overwhelmed you. The losses He wanted so desperately to help heal became aching, festering sores. Your heart wandered further and further away from Him as you wondered how Someone who had the ability to overcome death could allow these things to happen to you.
But this was not the way it was supposed to be. This was not the way it had to be. He made you more than a conqueror, if only you would claim His strength and your weakness each and every morning. If only you would give your life completely over to Him, to guide as He would. He would take you places you could never imagine. Not all of them would be "fun"; not all of them would be easy; and He might lead you even to death. But He would be there. And He would prove Himself far more than enough.
And so He continues waiting. He waits for you to run back. He waits for you to understand how overwhelming His love is for you. He waits for you to realize that He wants so much more than just a part of you, because He made all of you, and He loves it. He waits for you to remember that though the world is beautiful, it is fleeting, but He will always be there. He waits for you to accept His pursuit, to fall into His arms, to give Him everything that you've been carrying.
And as soon as you do, He holds you close and weeps over you. He rejoices over you as though you are the only one in the world. He heals your shattered heart. He dries your tears and does everything He can just to see you smile again. He picks up the weight that was meant to fall on His back all along. He gives you a reason to get up in the morning. He reminds you that you are His, and that though you may have left Him, though you may have tried to live without Him for a time, He never left your side. He was there, pursuing, loving, waiting. And He is so happy you came back, He will spend the rest of eternity quieting you with His love and rejoicing over you with singing. He is so excited to help you discover the life He had planned for you from the beginning of time; the life that was in His mind when He was dying; the life He loves.
Your past does not matter. Your future rests in His hands. And right here, right now, you are crazily loved.
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
You are chosen. You are designed with a purpose. Not a single feature on your face is a mistake. You're smile was specifically created just for you, though it was meant to be shared.
You were so beautifully designed that Someone fell in love with you. In fact, He fell in love with you before you were even born. He knew who you would be. He knew every mistake you would ever make. He knew every hair that would be on your head every second of every day. He knew all the times you would fall down; all the times you would reject His love; all the times you would spit in His face in unbelief; all the times you would walk away, feeling unworthy, unlovable, unforgivable; all the times you would turn your head away in sadness, unwilling to believe that He could wipe away every tear; all the times you would think someone else was more important than Him; all the times you would refuse to trust Him; all the times you would turn away from Him and never even give Him a thought.
But He fell in love with you nevertheless. And when you heard what He thought about you, that He believed you were beautiful and special, you couldn't believe it. It defied logic. It was too silly. Too ridiculous. It made no sense. This perfect One, falling in love with...you?
And then it got even more ridiculous. Seems this perfect Man actually died for you -- and not just died, but died an excruciatingly painful death. He suffered horribly. It was senseless. He'd done nothing wrong. You were the one who messed up. But He willingly stepped in and took your place, because He adored you. And the worst part was -- He could have come down at any moment. He could have called thousands of angels to His command. But He could see into the future, and see that one day, He would have a chance of winning your heart, if only He would stay, suffer, and die now. And so He stayed. He stayed, and He died.
But it did not end the day that He died. It began. And it got even more ridiculous. This perfect Man actually came back to life. He knew that one day, you would look at this amazing thing, this "death of death," and take it for granted. But He knew it would save you -- and so He did it anyway. He knew that His heart would break because of it, when you would go through days at a time without even thinking about it. But He did it anyway, because He was so in love with you.
And then He waited. He waited for the day you would be born. He was so, so excited. He had a beautiful life planned for you. It would not be easy. You would struggle. You would cry. You would face loneliness, rejection, depression, failure, loss, pain. But He was waiting to face it with you. He knew that if you would continually keep running back to His arms, all the pain you were experiencing would pale in comparison to His great, great love for you. In those moments with Him, you would forget this world, and you would remember that one day, the two of you would be perfectly, eternally together. And you would never hurt again.
But the world that He had created -- filled with beauty, because He wanted to fill your heart with the joy of a sunrise and the peace of a rainbow -- became distracting. You forgot that He was much, much more lovely than the world around you. And without Him in every day, the world started to lose its enchantment. Instead of the difficult but beautiful walk with Him that He had planned, you walked away, trying to face the problems set before you on your own. You knew He was still there, and you still talked to Him; but you did not understand the passionate relationship He wanted. And so while His words affected your decisions, His presence was not constantly felt in your daily life.
And so you began taking on things that He never wanted you to deal with on your own. The life He had designed to be so joyful, even in the face of adversity, was drudgery. The circumstances you were never meant to carry by yourself nearly overwhelmed you. The losses He wanted so desperately to help heal became aching, festering sores. Your heart wandered further and further away from Him as you wondered how Someone who had the ability to overcome death could allow these things to happen to you.
But this was not the way it was supposed to be. This was not the way it had to be. He made you more than a conqueror, if only you would claim His strength and your weakness each and every morning. If only you would give your life completely over to Him, to guide as He would. He would take you places you could never imagine. Not all of them would be "fun"; not all of them would be easy; and He might lead you even to death. But He would be there. And He would prove Himself far more than enough.
And so He continues waiting. He waits for you to run back. He waits for you to understand how overwhelming His love is for you. He waits for you to realize that He wants so much more than just a part of you, because He made all of you, and He loves it. He waits for you to remember that though the world is beautiful, it is fleeting, but He will always be there. He waits for you to accept His pursuit, to fall into His arms, to give Him everything that you've been carrying.
And as soon as you do, He holds you close and weeps over you. He rejoices over you as though you are the only one in the world. He heals your shattered heart. He dries your tears and does everything He can just to see you smile again. He picks up the weight that was meant to fall on His back all along. He gives you a reason to get up in the morning. He reminds you that you are His, and that though you may have left Him, though you may have tried to live without Him for a time, He never left your side. He was there, pursuing, loving, waiting. And He is so happy you came back, He will spend the rest of eternity quieting you with His love and rejoicing over you with singing. He is so excited to help you discover the life He had planned for you from the beginning of time; the life that was in His mind when He was dying; the life He loves.
Your past does not matter. Your future rests in His hands. And right here, right now, you are crazily loved.
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Overflow 101
Allow me to tell you a little something about overflow.
You have to be full before you can overflow.
In fact, you have to be full to, well, overflowing.
Makes sense, huh?
I know so many people -- including myself -- who want to be "a blessing." And I love that. I think it's wonderful. It's beautiful, and it's Christlike. But please hear this:
You cannot be a blessing if you are not full to overflowing with Jesus Christ.
So often, we try to give and give and give of our own strength. And very soon, we're exhausted. We have nothing left to give, and now we're neither a blessing, nor happy. We're just done.
But if we take all of that love that we try to give to other people, and give it to God instead -- He fills. And fills. And fills. And keeps filling, until we spill over continually.
That's when we become blessings. Our storehouses cannot be emptied, not in a thousand years. Our hearts cannot cease to spill over with the love of Christ, for His love never ends. For example, I do not sit in front of my computer and think, "What would be something inspiring to post as my status?" On the contrary, Jesus Christ astounds me and inspires me, and my natural response is to praise His greatness. I'm not inspirational. My Lord is.
Many people say, "You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of other people." And to a certain extent, I accept that. You have to be bubbling over with Jesus-love before you can give lasting, meaningful Jesus-love to other people. But once you're overflowing, then I say never look at yourself again. You can be so satisfied in Jesus Christ that you won't need to look at yourself.
But if all of a sudden you realize that you've taken your eyes off Jesus and have started trying to give from your own resources, take a step back and refocus your gaze. Don't try to give your own love; Jesus is the only one worthy of every ounce of all you have to offer.
You have to be full before you can overflow.
In fact, you have to be full to, well, overflowing.
Makes sense, huh?
I know so many people -- including myself -- who want to be "a blessing." And I love that. I think it's wonderful. It's beautiful, and it's Christlike. But please hear this:
You cannot be a blessing if you are not full to overflowing with Jesus Christ.
So often, we try to give and give and give of our own strength. And very soon, we're exhausted. We have nothing left to give, and now we're neither a blessing, nor happy. We're just done.
But if we take all of that love that we try to give to other people, and give it to God instead -- He fills. And fills. And fills. And keeps filling, until we spill over continually.
That's when we become blessings. Our storehouses cannot be emptied, not in a thousand years. Our hearts cannot cease to spill over with the love of Christ, for His love never ends. For example, I do not sit in front of my computer and think, "What would be something inspiring to post as my status?" On the contrary, Jesus Christ astounds me and inspires me, and my natural response is to praise His greatness. I'm not inspirational. My Lord is.
Many people say, "You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of other people." And to a certain extent, I accept that. You have to be bubbling over with Jesus-love before you can give lasting, meaningful Jesus-love to other people. But once you're overflowing, then I say never look at yourself again. You can be so satisfied in Jesus Christ that you won't need to look at yourself.
But if all of a sudden you realize that you've taken your eyes off Jesus and have started trying to give from your own resources, take a step back and refocus your gaze. Don't try to give your own love; Jesus is the only one worthy of every ounce of all you have to offer.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Just One Second
Give me Your eyes for just one second
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Everything that I've been missing
Give me Your love for humanity
Give me Your arms for the brokenhearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me a heart for the ones forgotten
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Okay, I'm not really a huge fan of that song. But for some reason, even though I change the channel every time I hear it, and so have not heard it in its entirety in months, I found the chorus running through my head over and over while sitting in the airport on my way to Las Vegas. I quickly replaced it with a song I liked more, and didn't think much about it.
Being in Las Vegas for four days, including an evening on the strip, I saw a lot of things. A lot of ads I wish I'd never seen, a lot of pictures I could've done without, a lot of sad, confused people wandering around looking for significance in places they will never find it. And it did burden me...but my heart never broke for these people. I don't know why. But while it made me sad, it never made me think, "Ah! This is how God feels about these people!"
On the flight home, sitting looking out the window, the song started going through my head again. I realized how huge this world is...yet so small in comparison. And how God has a unique, beautiful plan for everyone who was down below me, and aches for them to discover it. I wondered if this was how He feels, looking down from above and knowing that so many people have yet to encounter Him in a powerful way...because nobody will tell them. Lord, I prayed, give me Your eyes. Give me Your eyes, even for just one second.
As I prayed fervently to know the heartbeat of heaven, the call on my heart was so clear: Go. Tell them. Show them. Serve them. Love them. That's a recurring call for me. I have too much joy, too much love from Jesus to not share it. Occasionally, I get these random urges to run out into downtown, grab somebody, and tell them, "OhmygoodnessJesuslovesyousooooomuchandyoushouldloveHimtoo!" but I doubt that often works... Anywho, as I prayed, God gently showed me, You already love Me. Now can you love the ones I love?
So I continued to pray for passionate love for the lost and broken people around me. For the ones who think they're happy...but have yet to experience true joy. For people who have come to the end of their rope, and are ready to hear about the amazing love that is offered so freely.
Caught up in the excitement of telling my dad about my trip to Vegas on the drive home, I forgot this prayer. I forgot that I had asked to see through heaven's eyes, to feel my heart break, to have my eyes fill with the tears of Christ. However, as my parents were discussing something unrelated to me, my eyes drifted to the side of the road just in time to see a young man sit down on the sidewalk, pull his knees up to his chest, and bury his head in his hands.
In that split second, my heart broke. I could almost feel my hand reaching out to him as our car flew past. An overwhelming desire to turn around, sit down beside him, and ask him his story filled my heart. All I could do was pray as I thought about how defeated, how lonely, how broken he looked. And I knew -- I had been given what I asked for. I'd seen through God's eyes for just one second. In my four days in Las Vegas, my heart had never cried out against sin and despair as much as it did in that moment. And I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I have to tell them. There are so many people -- so many -- who have no idea about the love that Jesus has for them. Or if they do, they don't understand it, they don't believe it, they don't see it, and I have to tell them!
I didn't know how. Still don't. But I have an infinitely faithful God. He's what this life is all about. I can't do anything. I can sit here and write this blog, I can share the Gospel with as many people as I want to, but I will have no effect if God's not at work. He is infinitely trustworthy. And the more I realize that, the more I lose myself. The more I realize how insignificant I am, the more God can do things of eternal significance through me. And the more my heart breaks, the more I know without a doubt that I have to share the amazing, beautiful, fun life I've found in Jesus Christ. I trust that He will take me where I need to go in His time.
If you dare -- if you long to have a calling, if you long to feel heaven's heartbeat sound in your chest -- then ask. Pray for the Lord's eyes for a single moment. Pray for a single second that will change your life and inspire you to go. It is a prayer that He delights to answer.
By the way, that song, the one going through my head in the airport and the airplane: I had to look it up to figure out the exact lyrics of the chorus. It's about a guy discovering God's heart for the broken -- in an airport.
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Everything that I've been missing
Give me Your love for humanity
Give me Your arms for the brokenhearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me a heart for the ones forgotten
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Okay, I'm not really a huge fan of that song. But for some reason, even though I change the channel every time I hear it, and so have not heard it in its entirety in months, I found the chorus running through my head over and over while sitting in the airport on my way to Las Vegas. I quickly replaced it with a song I liked more, and didn't think much about it.
Being in Las Vegas for four days, including an evening on the strip, I saw a lot of things. A lot of ads I wish I'd never seen, a lot of pictures I could've done without, a lot of sad, confused people wandering around looking for significance in places they will never find it. And it did burden me...but my heart never broke for these people. I don't know why. But while it made me sad, it never made me think, "Ah! This is how God feels about these people!"
On the flight home, sitting looking out the window, the song started going through my head again. I realized how huge this world is...yet so small in comparison. And how God has a unique, beautiful plan for everyone who was down below me, and aches for them to discover it. I wondered if this was how He feels, looking down from above and knowing that so many people have yet to encounter Him in a powerful way...because nobody will tell them. Lord, I prayed, give me Your eyes. Give me Your eyes, even for just one second.
As I prayed fervently to know the heartbeat of heaven, the call on my heart was so clear: Go. Tell them. Show them. Serve them. Love them. That's a recurring call for me. I have too much joy, too much love from Jesus to not share it. Occasionally, I get these random urges to run out into downtown, grab somebody, and tell them, "OhmygoodnessJesuslovesyousooooomuchandyoushouldloveHimtoo!" but I doubt that often works... Anywho, as I prayed, God gently showed me, You already love Me. Now can you love the ones I love?
So I continued to pray for passionate love for the lost and broken people around me. For the ones who think they're happy...but have yet to experience true joy. For people who have come to the end of their rope, and are ready to hear about the amazing love that is offered so freely.
Caught up in the excitement of telling my dad about my trip to Vegas on the drive home, I forgot this prayer. I forgot that I had asked to see through heaven's eyes, to feel my heart break, to have my eyes fill with the tears of Christ. However, as my parents were discussing something unrelated to me, my eyes drifted to the side of the road just in time to see a young man sit down on the sidewalk, pull his knees up to his chest, and bury his head in his hands.
In that split second, my heart broke. I could almost feel my hand reaching out to him as our car flew past. An overwhelming desire to turn around, sit down beside him, and ask him his story filled my heart. All I could do was pray as I thought about how defeated, how lonely, how broken he looked. And I knew -- I had been given what I asked for. I'd seen through God's eyes for just one second. In my four days in Las Vegas, my heart had never cried out against sin and despair as much as it did in that moment. And I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I have to tell them. There are so many people -- so many -- who have no idea about the love that Jesus has for them. Or if they do, they don't understand it, they don't believe it, they don't see it, and I have to tell them!
I didn't know how. Still don't. But I have an infinitely faithful God. He's what this life is all about. I can't do anything. I can sit here and write this blog, I can share the Gospel with as many people as I want to, but I will have no effect if God's not at work. He is infinitely trustworthy. And the more I realize that, the more I lose myself. The more I realize how insignificant I am, the more God can do things of eternal significance through me. And the more my heart breaks, the more I know without a doubt that I have to share the amazing, beautiful, fun life I've found in Jesus Christ. I trust that He will take me where I need to go in His time.
If you dare -- if you long to have a calling, if you long to feel heaven's heartbeat sound in your chest -- then ask. Pray for the Lord's eyes for a single moment. Pray for a single second that will change your life and inspire you to go. It is a prayer that He delights to answer.
By the way, that song, the one going through my head in the airport and the airplane: I had to look it up to figure out the exact lyrics of the chorus. It's about a guy discovering God's heart for the broken -- in an airport.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)